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I feel selfish for having to process this.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 25 January 2014 · 150 views

so i haven't slept in my room in months. I'm just not comfortable there, so I sleep on the couch. now I'm sleeping in the exact place of a murderer. my brother ever so kindly brought that one up. I knew him for over half my life. we've been in close quarters too many times to count. I know my best friend is having a harder time than I am, but she's the st...


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not trying to gossip, just need to vent.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 23 January 2014 · 116 views

so yesterday I received some very unsettling news.
my best friend's brother, who I've known for over half of my life, shot and killed someone on his college campus two days ago.
it's said that he walked into a classroom, shot this student four to six times, walked out, and surrendered with no struggle.
his arraignment is today.
one of my brothers went to...


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having a really hard time right now.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 06 January 2014 · 136 views

not going to school for a prolonged period of time gives me flashbacks.
when it happened, i was at a special school for kids with learning problems, emotional problems, and significant court records.
i started school on a tuesday, and it happened thursday after school.
my mom didn't make me go back friday. she actually called the school and raised absolut...


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bittersweet.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 03 January 2014 · 112 views

unfortunately, i got stood up tonight...again. It's not the first time he's done this, but i keep falling into it.
 
i was sitting around the house, feeling pretty down, and my phone rang. it was my brother, who means absolutely everything to me. he's in the military and stationed on the other side of the country, so we don't...


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Anxiety.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 14 December 2013 · 162 views

I can't even remember the last time I slept in my room. It's been sooo long. I tried sleeping in my room last night, but it didn't work out. I had too much anxiety to sleep. I've been sleeping on the couch. My mom is getting sick of that, though. My room just serves the purpose of a closet now. It's nothing more than the place where I keep all...


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ouch.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 08 December 2013 · 116 views

day five of this stupid concussion. no improvement thus far.
i was job shadowing for school on wednesday, and ended up fainting. my head bounced off a tile floor like a basketball, and now i have a concussion. it also resulted in neck spasms. so i'm on muscle relaxers and vicodin. i've posted several times in the past how negatively vicodin affects me, so...


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i guess i need to vent.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 30 November 2013 · 124 views

a close friend and i had sex once a few years ago, and I really feel taken advantage of. I felt safe with him, and I don't think he would have hurt me, but when I really think about it, something was shady. I never realized it at the time, it was a very rough situation. my mom kicked me out of the car like thirty miles from home and he was the o...


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I shouldn't. Be up. Right now.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 30 November 2013 · 104 views

I'm not what one might call happy. My ex who is in the navy is back in town for a few days, and just called to wake me up and go see him. it's 2 am, I look like hell and he's an hour away. pardon me for not being on his mid-shift schedule. I'm only frustrated because it took me forever to get to sleep. it took just short of an hour to align my chakras and...


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worried sick.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 29 November 2013 · 137 views

i'm unbelievably paranoid right now. there's a certain situation that has been tearing me apart. every bad scenario possible is running around my head. I'm literally worrying myself sick. I've been curled up in a ball with unbearable tummy pains, and it hurts like hell to even stretch out. it's not the first time that this has happened, but appa...


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holidays.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 28 November 2013 · 129 views

holidays are a bitch. they seem to be unpleasant for a lot of people. i know i'm not alone, but sometimes i wish i was. because i hate this feeling, and it sucks that other people have to feel it, too. my at-school psychologist has been talking about how many crisis interventions he had to do over the two days of school that we had this week. i had t...






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