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so happy(:

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 19 June 2014 · 135 views

I never thought I'd hear from him this soon.
he let me know he made it there okay, and we discussed things that he needs, but he still doesn't have a legitimate address for me to send things to. he knows me, so he told me not to send so much stuff that it would interfere with getting back. i just want to send him everything i possibly can to make him...


hasn't been an easy day.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 18 June 2014 · 127 views

day number two, and it's all going downhill from here.
i told my therapist about him deploying, and she wasn't sure what was going on because rumor had it troops were coming home and there was supposed to be no boots on the ground. knowing what he has to do over there, well, that puts his fucking boots on the ground now, doesn't it?
depression is swallo...



Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 17 June 2014 · 111 views

i don't want to leave the house, but i need to do something to clear my head.
my mom and i are spending time together once she gets off work, and i might hang out with a former co-worker later on.
really, though, i might not even change out of my pajamas. maybe i'll just hang out with my cat. she's getting pretty old, and with age she's gotten rather...


it's official.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 16 June 2014 · 96 views

he deploys super early tomorrow. and he has no idea when he's coming back.
i know it's gonna be exponentially harder for him than it will be for me, and i'm not trying to make it about myself, but i have no idea what i'm gonna do. i'm in tears, my stomach is in knots, it's already hard. i would give anything on planet earth to have him stay, but that woul...


oh, father's day.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 14 June 2014 · 97 views

it's that time of year again. after sixteen years, i'm finally coming to grips with my father's suicide. for a while i was too young, for a while i convinced myself he never existed, for a while i struggled, and now i've made peace with it. what's done is done.
my brother has always been my superman. he's been the only male role model i've ever had....


worried sick.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 13 June 2014 · 117 views

i got a call yesterday, not THE call, but a similar one. it turns out that he might be deploying a week ahead of schedule. i have to keep all details to myself, but they're rather unsettling. i can't eat or sleep, and i seriously can't even breathe normally. to fathom that something really bad could happen breaks my heart. it may sound selfish and petty,...



Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 12 June 2014 · 129 views

possible trigger: this post is related to former self harming habits.
just need to vent.
it's not usually something i talk about, probably because there's nobody i could really talk to about something like this. yesterday, i absent-mindedly threw on a pair of shorts and went out to meet an acquaintance. when i sat down, it revealed all the...


in need of support.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 07 June 2014 · 118 views

this isn't related to sexual abuse, but it's really weighing heavily on me.
has anyone ever had a loved one in the military that was deployed overseas?
i just need someone that understands.



Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 07 February 2014 · 118 views

I went to see the doctor today for a neck injury I sustained in December. She had to feel around my neck and that sent my anxiety through the roof. I demanded a female doctor, but that still didn't help. I got tweaky when my mom touched my neck to put a heating thing on it. so now I'm just all around uncomfortable.


struggling a little more lately

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 01 February 2014 · 169 views

it seems like i've been dissociating myself from the real world. school is a fucking mess. even my instructor sees me slipping. i've been half-heartedly baking my cakes and not putting much thought into decorations. compared to everyone else, mine are mediocre at best. that shit used to be my life, but now i'm just going through the motions.
I feel...

July 2016

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