-second time in under a week i'm going to see my baby doctor
i'm still having intense pains and they suggested i come back. it makes me kinda nervous.
-school starts tomorrow
i'm just not ready. it's overwhelming. i'm terrible in social situations, people treat me like absolute shit because i'm different, and, courtesy of baby, i'm looking a little chubbier. like i need a bigger target on my back.
-my dad will have been dead for seventeen years on the 24th
it's unfortunate, but i have a hard time giving a fuck. i'm more bitter than sad. he shot himself when i was two, my brother was five and my mom was like 27. there's never a good reason, but his was lower than fuck. it was a manipulating revenge type thing. trust me, i won't be shedding a single tear, i'm just gonna be irritable.
-on the 27th, it will be four years since what happened
i still can't even say it. there's a lot of shit working against me that day. one, i'm gonna be hypersensitive all day. two, i have to go to school. three, i have to go to work. four, i have to pass the school i met him at.
-i hate my fucking job.
i just hate it. the servers are complete assholes. they act like they're superior to me because i'm still in high school. most of the people in the kitchen are pretty nice, but the head chef is a huge flirt. i don't know how i feel about that.