i'm having a hard time deciding whether or not i should feel bad about a crush. on one hand, it's a harmless crush. i don't think either of us are going to act on it. on the other, i've been with my boyfriend for a long time and now i'm pregnant with his baby. it's this guy i used to work with. i worked in a really bad area, and he would walk me out every night to make sure i was safe. he always asked me if i was staying out of trouble, how school was going and if everything was okay at home. we would lose track of time and talk for hours. and i hope there's no judgment on this, but the age difference between us was pretty big. he's 23 years my senior; i'm 18 and he's 41. i hope that doesn't sound inappropriate. i think the only time an age difference like that is inappropriate is when someone is under 18 and still considered a minor. as long as both people are over 18, i really don't think it's that bad. i wouldn't have guessed he was 41. he looks about 25 at the very oldest. when we're talking and joking and just having fun, the age difference is out the window. but when we hear it out loud, it sounds a little strange.
he called me the other night from the phone at work. i had no idea why the place that fucking fired one week prior was calling at almost midnight, but it was him. it was nice to hear his voice. i guess they left my phone number up on the board or something. he gave me his number on my last night there. i want to call him, but i feel a little awkward about it, given my current situation. for the record, i wanted to call him before my boyfriend pretty much crushed my heart because of the baby, so it's not like i'm trying to fill a void or something. i just like him. he's a pretty good guy.