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SomebodyLoveMe's Blog



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wow.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 28 June 2014 · 60 views

so [s]good great morning. i woke up to the voice of my loved one overseas. i heard him from across the house and was out of my bed before my eyes were even open. mom got him on skype. he was only available for a matter of minutes, but it was probably the best way to wake up.
i remember a few years ago when he lived like five states away and he came here...


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does anyone else have a strange trigger?

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 27 June 2014 · 93 views

this has to sound absolutely ridiculous. popsicles. you know those popsicles in the plastic tube? we always get generic ones, so i don't know the real name. but they're a trigger for me, specifically the green, orange and purple ones. my mom picked some up. i used to love them, and sometimes i can finally eat the other colors.
but let me explain. i encoun...


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gifts(:

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 26 June 2014 · 51 views

my mom and i sent our first care package overseas today. a fluffy pillow, blankets, snacks, toiletries, all kinds of stuff. my grandparents sent a package about a week ago, and my aunt sent one today. he's gonna get tons of stuff at once. they're moving him next month, but he'd be back where he's at now in about six weeks, just incase it doesn't...


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a seriously pointless blurb about my pets.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 25 June 2014 · 79 views

if there's anything i can count on to cheer me up, it'd be my cat. she's such a dainty little princess, but she eats like a piggy and snores like a man. she's a ten year old himalayan with no real name. she just goes by whatever i feel like calling her, and it's funny because she responds. it doesn't confuse her or give her a kitty identity crisis....


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uncomfortable.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 24 June 2014 · 46 views

it's rather personal, and it could be too much information, but i'm still just terribly uncomfortable.
 
i had to go see the lady doctor today, and that always triggers up a storm of emotional anguish. she knows nothing of the sexual abuse because i have been seeing her since before then. i never told her, because it never really came up. she k...


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still struggling

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 22 June 2014 · 48 views

my depression has been swallowing me today. it's not even related to his deployment this time.
i went to church, and the grocery, and to get some other things to mail overseas because he got back to me with an address. then i came home and took a nap. but while i was out i got myself a box of chocolates. i've been exercising a lot so i decided i deserved...


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panic attack.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 21 June 2014 · 54 views

i don't feel safe.
really paranoid. having trouble breathing. getting dizzy.
i even took my emergency anxiety meds.
no improvement.
i just want to scream for help, as if that'd do anything.
don't know what brought this on, but i hate it.


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so happy(:

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 19 June 2014 · 60 views

I never thought I'd hear from him this soon.
he let me know he made it there okay, and we discussed things that he needs, but he still doesn't have a legitimate address for me to send things to. he knows me, so he told me not to send so much stuff that it would interfere with getting back. i just want to send him everything i possibly can to make him...


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hasn't been an easy day.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 18 June 2014 · 61 views

day number two, and it's all going downhill from here.
i told my therapist about him deploying, and she wasn't sure what was going on because rumor had it troops were coming home and there was supposed to be no boots on the ground. knowing what he has to do over there, well, that puts his fucking boots on the ground now, doesn't it?
depression is swallo...


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struggling.

Posted by SomebodyLoveMe , 17 June 2014 · 58 views

i don't want to leave the house, but i need to do something to clear my head.
my mom and i are spending time together once she gets off work, and i might hang out with a former co-worker later on.
really, though, i might not even change out of my pajamas. maybe i'll just hang out with my cat. she's getting pretty old, and with age she's gotten rather...






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