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Arietta_Sashrady's Blog


Angry again.

Posted by Arietta_Sashrady , 06 August 2011 · 125 views

As if the photo of my abuser (stepdad) smiling with my sister and her daughter wasn't bad enough, today my mother posts on her Facebook about what a nice time my nephew is having playing with his grandfather.

It's not right, watching him having all these family ties he didn't earn. It's not right that he even gets to be around those kids....


lament for innocence

Posted by Arietta_Sashrady , 11 July 2011 · 86 views

I've been having this problem lately. Last week I was at work doing mundane tasks when suddenly I remembered a knitting nancy from my childhood. I remembered her painted face and suddenly all these feelings of intense sorrow washed over me and it took all of my emotional control not to just start crying.

Today it happened again. I was awake in bed wh...


The Spiral

Posted by Arietta_Sashrady , 20 June 2011 · 65 views

The thing about being depressed is that every molehill becomes a mountain, every cruel real-life comment provoking a deep, inner pain. The past is omnipresent, each painful moment relived.

The thing about being happy is that nothing seems to matter at all, and I can't relate to the me a week ago who saw the world in such a dull grey. I only see the p...


the fall

Posted by Arietta_Sashrady , 09 June 2011 · 56 views

Today... today was hard.

I felt in a much better mood after offloading in this blog last night. I woke up not dreading work for a change. I got to work, had a good few first hours. Then this one guy had a pissy fit that me (or somebody else on the other shifts that worked that order) missed a box.

Some days it's the small things that set you off. It...



Posted by Arietta_Sashrady , 08 June 2011 · 58 views

I'm trying to stay positive today, even though the thoughts are still on my mind a lot.

When I think about it, I've come through a lot. And I've survived all of it, with my unique personality and spirit intact. They tried to erase me, but I would not disappear. They tried to break me, but I would not bend. They tried to shame me, but deep dow...


a pure lack of willpower

Posted by Arietta_Sashrady , 07 June 2011 · 85 views

Yeah. Yesterday's novel idea is out. It's not healthy for me to write a whole novel about rage and violence. It's only going to make it worse. I have a book I'm working on that I should go back to, a lot of it is about pain and healing from that pain, so I'm probably in a good place to add to that.

I'm just depressed right now. My...



Posted by Arietta_Sashrady , 06 June 2011 · 79 views

So I've had this idea floating around in my brain for a new novel, about an abused woman who seeks out and murders child abusers. I guess it's a revenge fantasy of sorts. I'm just not sure it's a responsible thing to write, I'm not sure if I could cope with it, either. But I really do feel that I need to do some therapy writing, I feel...



Posted by Arietta_Sashrady , 06 June 2011 · 54 views

I am here. I am in the future now. The days are behind me. They can't hurt me.

So why do I feel so scared? I can't get away from thinking about the past right now. I need to come back to the present for now. I have a job to attend. I only have so much emotional strength. I don't want to cry today.

I know you were only nine, kiddo, but now yo...


The Other Side

Posted by Arietta_Sashrady , 05 June 2011 · 54 views

I'm feeling a little down. The child who I was wanted to have a word, so I channeled her for a little while, like I channel the thoughts and feelings of any of my characters. I think it helped.

The Other Side

I stand upon the cliff as the waves crash beneath me, salty spray washing my face. I hold my sword proudly as my cloak flows in the wind. I a...


so naive.

Posted by Arietta_Sashrady , 04 June 2011 · 58 views

It's been a bad week. I've been feeling pretty terrible, both physically and mentally. I've also been feeling kind of lonely. I love my new job, but it's a very isolated job. And maybe that's for the better.

I found myself missing a couple of people from my last job. It's not that I would consider them friends, but they were decen...

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