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I was beautiful. Special and loved. I cannot feel that way now. I am damaged, used goods, bad. I should have went to jail for going to his house. Depression engulfs me in spite of meds that I take. Most people dream in particles, things that they cant remember. They enjoy being with their boyfriend/spouse. They can eat normal foods, take normal baths, go out among people and do normal things.
I on the other hand, soak in scalding water to rid myself of the guilt sin and hurt that I feel daily. I stay in my house, rarely leaving. I sleep with the lights on, wrapped in as much clothing as I can, to make it hard for him to get me. I cannot eat foods I once enjoyed. I am happy about not being in a relationship, because I cant be forces, torn apart and left broken that way.
I feel like a freak. There is so much wrong with me I cant stay preoccupided for long.
HELP ME
I on the other hand, soak in scalding water to rid myself of the guilt sin and hurt that I feel daily. I stay in my house, rarely leaving. I sleep with the lights on, wrapped in as much clothing as I can, to make it hard for him to get me. I cannot eat foods I once enjoyed. I am happy about not being in a relationship, because I cant be forces, torn apart and left broken that way.
I feel like a freak. There is so much wrong with me I cant stay preoccupided for long.
HELP ME
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1 Comments On This Entry
Amandaunder the pink- I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now. You are very brave for posting your feelings, and what you've been going through. But please know that YOU don't deserve to be punished, you deserve kindness and understanding. You're not a freak at all. I'm here for you if you ever need to talk. Take gentle care of yourself.
Irishleo,
10 December 2012 - 01:42 PM
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