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I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING INSIDE ME IS BROKEN AND I CAN'T FIX IT.... I DON'T WANT TO DWELL ON IT, BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO LET IT GO... IT HAPPENED. I COULDN'T STOP IT. TOUCHES NOW BOTH EXCITE AND REPULSE ME. I HURT INSIDE..THERE IS NO ONE TO SHARE MY PAIN WITH.
PEOPLE TELL ME I AM BEING DRAMATIC. I TELL MYSELF TO PUSH THRU THE CRAP AND MOVE ON. I KEEP TRYING TO TALK ABOUT HAPPY TOPICS, BUT IT ALWAYS TURNS BACK TO MY RAPE. I NEED THERAPY BUT CAN'T AFFORD IT...
HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID? I PUT MYSELF IN SITUATIONS WHERE I WOULD GET RAPED. I KNOW THIS NOW..... I CAN'T BELIEVE MY STUPIDITY....
I WAS TOTALLY AT FAULT. I WAS THE GIRL WHEN I WAS YOUNGER THAT SAID, OH THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN TO ME....THEN WHEN I GO OUT TO MAKE MY OWN WAY, WHAT HAPPENS?? I GET RAPED NOT ONCE BUT TWICE.
IS THAT STUPID OR WHAT??
I WANTED TO BE SPECIAL FOR WHOEVER I DECIDE TO BE WITH...THAT IS GONE NOW. KI WILL NEVER GET THAT BACK. IT'S OVER. THE SHAME AND GUILT I EXPERIENCE EVERY DAY IS TREMENDOUS....PARAMOUNT....I FEEL LIKE I AM SINKING UNDER AND CAN'T COME UP...
I HAVE TRIED TO DIE SEVERAL TIMES IN MY LIFE AND CAN'T EVEN DIE RIGHT.......
AM I CRAZY??? I CAN'T DEAL ANY MORE!!!
PEOPLE TELL ME I AM BEING DRAMATIC. I TELL MYSELF TO PUSH THRU THE CRAP AND MOVE ON. I KEEP TRYING TO TALK ABOUT HAPPY TOPICS, BUT IT ALWAYS TURNS BACK TO MY RAPE. I NEED THERAPY BUT CAN'T AFFORD IT...
HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID? I PUT MYSELF IN SITUATIONS WHERE I WOULD GET RAPED. I KNOW THIS NOW..... I CAN'T BELIEVE MY STUPIDITY....
I WAS TOTALLY AT FAULT. I WAS THE GIRL WHEN I WAS YOUNGER THAT SAID, OH THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN TO ME....THEN WHEN I GO OUT TO MAKE MY OWN WAY, WHAT HAPPENS?? I GET RAPED NOT ONCE BUT TWICE.
IS THAT STUPID OR WHAT??
I WANTED TO BE SPECIAL FOR WHOEVER I DECIDE TO BE WITH...THAT IS GONE NOW. KI WILL NEVER GET THAT BACK. IT'S OVER. THE SHAME AND GUILT I EXPERIENCE EVERY DAY IS TREMENDOUS....PARAMOUNT....I FEEL LIKE I AM SINKING UNDER AND CAN'T COME UP...
I HAVE TRIED TO DIE SEVERAL TIMES IN MY LIFE AND CAN'T EVEN DIE RIGHT.......
AM I CRAZY??? I CAN'T DEAL ANY MORE!!!
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