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Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
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amandaunderthepink likes this

Ever want to scream?

21 December 2012
Posted by amandaunderthepink  
I want to. More appropriately, I want to cry. I can't-and haven't for over two years. My eyes are hot and I cannot really safely cry-Id have to be triggered in order to cry. Speaking of which....

Guns trigger the shit outta me. I hear them cock, (i just heard one on tv and I am not doing too good right now) and I am back in that kitchen,...
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Tags: polish, me, change, shame

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Free

18 December 2012
Posted by amandaunderthepink  
When will I be free? I can't forgive, I can't find peace or love here. I remember all the abuse I have been through. I frel like I will never be free.


I sleep covered, with the television on. I try to act like everything is fine, lioke I have no problems. Inside, my heart feels heavy. I wrap myself in purple and in heavy blankets,...
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Tags: statement, fear, pain

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Posted by amandaunderthepink  
I was a beautiful princess for the first 3 years of my life. I was the daughter of a beautiful queen and strong king. I was spoiled by the royal courts. I was held in high regard, until one day, with no reason the faerie tale changed.....

The king and queen were away on a short voyage, thus I was left in care of the court jester. I was happily...
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Once upon a time......

05 December 2012
Posted by amandaunderthepink  
I was beautiful. Special and loved. I cannot feel that way now. I am damaged, used goods, bad. I should have went to jail for going to his house. Depression engulfs me in spite of meds that I take. Most people dream in particles, things that they cant remember. They enjoy being with their boyfriend/spouse. They can eat normal foods, take normal...
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About my blog

This is basically my space to spill out everything I'm thinking and feeling.

Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.

What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.

There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.

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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.