Bitter For Sweet
Up visiting my mom, we sat in a meeting for about 2hrs. We talked about recovering from addiction, and relapse. While I suffer from abuse rather than a chemical dependency, I was able to tie some things to my own recovery.
They talked about triggers, and how places, whole neighborhoods even, can be triggering. How, once staying in treatment & then returning home, seeing certain people, being around your old haunts, can be very triggering & affect your recovery. It can send people right back to the recovery home they came from, stunting all the progress they've made.
I immediately identified with the "places" trigger, having lived completely on my own, out of my home city, before I started healing.
Our instructor basically said that getting away from those areas, and dropping those "bad friends" can really help you begin to recover. "That's really the beginning of your healing journey," she'd said. I wholly agree, and that's another reason why I need to move out, to "remove yourself from that stressful environment; get a clear head. To begin to organize yourself, and take steps to a better life,"
It reaffirmed my excitement in moving out (to an upstairs apartment too, yay!), briefly energizing me with the prospect of starting fresh. It'll be my first time living "out of the house" since I've started my therapy. A different, safer (in terms of privacy), more open environment, with a trusted friend will definitely help I think.
The movie also talked about relapse, the definition of it and how your brain works. I tied some of those things to my self injury. One interviewee in the movie said, "I had been sober for 16 years, and then, one day, some personal problems came up. I got stressed out, and I just got drunk, just because I could." Sort of like my returning to self-injury, after being 'clean' for so many years, because I'd been hit with a multitude of personal problems or stressful things. Sometimes you just snap!
It also talked about how stress from the recovering person's struggle can affect everyone else around. I've heard that a lot as well, and it almost happened to me, stressing about my mother, where she was, what she was doing, how she was doing, or who she was with.
I can also tie that to my recovery, but I don't know if people worry about me - at least, not right now & not on a regular basis. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
I thought it was kind of cool that I could draw such similarities and connections from a group focused on recovering from substance abuse, and comparing it to my recovery of physical & trauma.