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The Missing Frame



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"I feel underappreciated..."

Posted by Shining_On124 , 12 August 2010 · 11 views

"My life is full of desperation, devastation... all I truly know...
All that I know is isolation, self-damnation.
All light that I'd owned... was shed and worthless now."

Yesterday, after spending all day and a good portion of the night with my best friend, we parted ways and I headed to my gf's house.
She told me to come over around 9:30...


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Things on my mind...

Posted by Shining_On124 , 08 August 2010 · 13 views

"Don't waste your touch... You won't feel anything;
Or were you sent to save me?
I've thought too much,
You won't find anything worthy of redeeming.

Yo he estado aquí muchas veces antes y regreso..."

1. - I read a lot of old Livejournal entries on Thursday afternoon, from 2004 - 2006 today. I skimmed through them to bookmark th...


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Schism

Posted by Shining_On124 , 03 August 2010 · 15 views

‎"I must keep reminding myself of this...

If there were no rewards to reap,
no loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here,
I certainly would've walked away by now.
... And I still may."


Last week (well, Tues?) I sent my gf an email saying I would appreciate feedback from her when I sent her messages about...


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Space-Bound --- "My worries weigh the world,"

Posted by Shining_On124 , 26 July 2010 · 16 views

I'm worried that she'll leave me. That she can't handle this...what I'm becoming.

I don't think she's ever been with a rape victim before.

I know that my anxiety is getting worse. I have decided that I may need to go on medication for it, with or without health insurance. I'll get the money.

I don't know what she'l...


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"I'm goin' through changes..."

Posted by Shining_On124 , 22 July 2010 · 12 views

The past couple weeks my anxiety has been acting up. I know it's a combination of my healing, looking for a job and an apartment, freaking out because I haven't been spending as much time as I'd like to on my recovery.... then spending some time on my recovery and realizing that everything is building up into a monumental wave that comes crash...


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About a kittums (cat)

Posted by Shining_On124 , 18 July 2010 · 11 views

Sometimes I think I get so close with my animals, so emotionally attached, people might think it's weird. People that don't understand the "human-animal-bond", or people that think only dogs can be your best friend, but cats can't simply because of stereotypes (yes, they have stereotypes).

With Cosmo, for instance.

I can't expl...


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TOOL - Live at Viejas Arena, 7/15/2010

Posted by Shining_On124 , 17 July 2010 · 17 views

Oh man, the Tool show last night was incredible.

The light show was fantastic, definitely the best I've ever seen. Their videos on either side of the stage were great, too. :D
There were no problems with the audio, no distortion (except on my recordings) and the vocals were fantastic!

The crowd was great. For me, there's nothing like being...


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Shining On

Posted by Shining_On124 , 17 July 2010 · 12 views

Good things!!

First and foremost, - Eric and I got the apartment!! We move in August first, and we got all the perks that come with it: $50 laundry credit, $50 in-house maid service, $75 grochery gift card, and best of all, first month free rent !! All that's due is $225 from each of us tomorrow for our se...


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Good Interview, Bad Interview [Sort of bad]

Posted by Shining_On124 , 14 July 2010 · 11 views

My first interview today was this morning at 10am, with Merry Maids. It went really, really well.
Only problem is, my salary requirements. I need to make at least $400 a week to cover my living expenses. They pay you $8/hr, plus 20% (starting out, it can go up to 29%) from the total $ made on every house you clean. Most teams (you work in...


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Bitter For Sweet

Posted by Shining_On124 , 11 July 2010 · 13 views

Today made me realize just how much I need a fresh start.

Up visiting my mom, we sat in a meeting for about 2hrs. We talked about recovering from addiction, and relapse. While I suffer from abuse rather than a chemical dependency, I was able to tie some things to my own recovery.

They talked about triggers, and how places, whole neighborhoods even, can...






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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.