I need an escape.
I am anxious ALL the time and I cannot handle it anymore, my flatmate just steers at me all the time and asks if I am okay every 5 minutes. I know I should be thankful but i'm not. I get that she is worried but it is to much I need a break. Her steering at me makes me so anxious and makes me feel like I am being judged. Especially because I am doing all I possibly can to stay out of hospital she makes it hard to eat when she steers at me and questions everything I do.
Not sure what to do. I am not getting help anymore because I refuse to go to my appointments as I hate my case worker so much! I changed my cell phone number just to avoid having to talk to the woman! My life is a mess but no one would know it. To everyone else I am doing well, I haven't been in hospital in over 2 weeks, I am studying and I appear happy. (I think)
I am so tired I miss sleep! And once again I am hiding away in my room while my flatmates are getting drunk and ready to go out to town. i could never do that anymore. The calories in alcohol scares me, and being out in public at partys and bars scares me even more. But I just make up excuses like I am exhausted or that I need to get sleep so I can do lots of study tomorrow..what a joke.
Gah fighting a losing battle it feels like.