I hate having no one I can trust and who I feel understands me or judges me. I finally reached out to a online crisis line last night who have been emailing me ever since but its not helping. I vent then they kinda just put what I said into other words which just makes me even more upset when I read it.
I duno what I am ment to do. No one wants me around them, people here are only putting up with me cause i am being fake around them but I am at breaking point it isnt going to last much longer.
Ive had it. I am over life. Why carry on when I am living a lie here and in a huge amount of pain or when I go back to NZ I have to go to court cause my aunty has draged me into testifying against my uncle who SA me, and then get locked up in PTSD treatment centre both options are not really options for me.
I have nothing to be alive for.