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Mel's Blog


I need an escape.

Posted by Dark_and_Dead , 06 February 2013 · 31 views

I have been doing okay and now I am just stuck. I am trying to be strong and happy for everyone else around me, but it's getting to much and instead of doing the healthy thing and asking for space, I am retreating into my ED and pushing everyone away by hiding away from the world.

I am anxious ALL the time and I cannot handle it anymore, my flatmate...



Posted by Dark_and_Dead , 27 July 2011 · 26 views

I HATE YOU!! You are supose to be my best friend! The one person who i can count on in times like this! The one person I thought would understand and give me a break but no! Instead you are going out to drink orrr,,,get your hair done...or going to parties while you dump your kid on me.

Worst day in a long time and what am I doing......


So tired.

Posted by Dark_and_Dead , 19 July 2011 · 19 views

So it's 5.30am..have now been up for 4days straight and I actually feel like I am slowly going insane. I know its affecting me because I am over reacting at the littlest things. Had a massive fight with my family..as far as going organizing the next 3 weeks to ensure there is no way I have to see anyone from my family, even the ones I didn't have...



Posted by Dark_and_Dead , 30 November 2010 · 20 views

Being in another country away from my support network of friends is incredibly hard. I feel like I am living in a fake world at the moment..this big happy face and bubbly personality and then at night just crying and SI.

I hate having no one I can trust and who I feel understands me or judges me. I finally reached out to a online crisis line last night...


Going insane

Posted by Dark_and_Dead , 03 August 2010 · 14 views

I don't feel alive anymore. I quit therapy, well not techniqually I am suposibly still ment to be going but I haven't been in 5 weeks and I have been avoiding phone calls from the eating disorder clinician and my therapist so pretty much I have quit. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in 2 weeks which was made 3 months ago but I am pretty...


Mmm Failing!

Posted by Dark_and_Dead , 25 June 2010 · 9 views

I am trying to get my head around everything but yeah not going so well.

Okay..so my Therapist is getting tired of me avoiding going to make an appointment at the sexual abuse centre...and so next appointment she has told me she is taking me into town and we are going to have a coffee and just walk past the place.

Okay yeah I get the whole expoture ther...



Posted by Dark_and_Dead , 09 June 2010 · 20 views

Well today has been hell to say the least. Spent the intire day contemplating suicide. All I wanted was t speak to my therapist and she told me she was nt busy this week and that I could ring her and make an appointment, agh, or not...she wasnt there so I couldnt talk to her and then I cant even see her this week cause she is busy and I am at a major low...


Feel like I am going crazy

Posted by Dark_and_Dead , 08 June 2010 · 11 views

Today has been a really scary day. I have always known that I have been sexually abused when I was younger and raped in my life but I thought I could remember everything.

I haven't really slept the past 2 weeks and have had the exact same nightmare about me being sexually abused by a neighbour but thing is I never remembered it happening. I just thou...

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