Help
Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!
Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.
You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.
I can't sleep. I've noticed I go through periods of not being able to. It drives me crazy. I've barely slept in the last three days.
I didn't hear anything about my application for the apartment today. They said it would take 24 hours or so. Maybe I didn't get it. I'll call later today. I guess I'm really nervous to live alone. I think I'll be really scared at night. I mean, here at my parents house, it's safe and there's other people here, yet I'm terrified at night. So here I am in my room, with a nightlite on, door locked, thinking some random person is going to burst in and kill me or something. I think it'll be worse when I move. In the apartment, it feels pretty safe. I got a good vibe from the area. The only thing I don't like is the sliding glass door that's in the bedroom. It makes me a little nervous, but I'm going to get one of those bar locks so it can't be opened. I'll get used to it.
What I can't get used to is this fear that keeps me awake. It consumes me and makes me feel sick. Then I have less of an appetite and get even more tired and think maybe drinking will put me to sleep, which it doesn't. It's just this never ending cycle. I would read or something, but I can't concentrate enough. Instead, I go between laying in the dark, jumping at every sound or getting up to turn the light on and still being afraid. Sometimes I'll drift off, but then wake up abruptly. It's like I need to be alert and watching everything all the time. There's nothing going on though! It's all in my head. I just want it to stop.
I didn't hear anything about my application for the apartment today. They said it would take 24 hours or so. Maybe I didn't get it. I'll call later today. I guess I'm really nervous to live alone. I think I'll be really scared at night. I mean, here at my parents house, it's safe and there's other people here, yet I'm terrified at night. So here I am in my room, with a nightlite on, door locked, thinking some random person is going to burst in and kill me or something. I think it'll be worse when I move. In the apartment, it feels pretty safe. I got a good vibe from the area. The only thing I don't like is the sliding glass door that's in the bedroom. It makes me a little nervous, but I'm going to get one of those bar locks so it can't be opened. I'll get used to it.
What I can't get used to is this fear that keeps me awake. It consumes me and makes me feel sick. Then I have less of an appetite and get even more tired and think maybe drinking will put me to sleep, which it doesn't. It's just this never ending cycle. I would read or something, but I can't concentrate enough. Instead, I go between laying in the dark, jumping at every sound or getting up to turn the light on and still being afraid. Sometimes I'll drift off, but then wake up abruptly. It's like I need to be alert and watching everything all the time. There's nothing going on though! It's all in my head. I just want it to stop.
Share This Entry:
2 Comments On This Entry
slb720- I've been there so I know how hard the nighttime can be. In time the insomnia will pass. I went through a long spell of that myself to the point it was driving me crazy, but then one night I was able to sleep. I hope you are able to find peace soon. Sending you positive thoughts and energy.
Irishleo,
03 May 2012 - 02:57 PM
Thank you. It's frustrating how it comes and goes. Last night I slept a little better 
. Sending good vibes your way as well.
. Sending good vibes your way as well.
slb720,
04 May 2012 - 08:22 AM
Page 1 of 1
About my blog
This is basically my space to spill out everything I'm thinking and feeling.
Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.
What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.
There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.
Please note that some of the content here may be triggering.
What I write here is just me being honest with myself. Mostly just venting about things, realisations, and my path through healing.
There will be talk of CSA, SA, R, SI and ED here.
Recent Entries
-
-
-
-
-
feeling crazy
on May 02 2012 10:51 PM
