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slb720's Blog



Posted by slb720 , 28 March 2012 · 24 views

Just realized that it's been two years today since the first time I was raped. It doesn't seem like it's been that long...feeling a little sad I guess. I haven't done much in two years.


What am I doing?

Posted by slb720 , 28 March 2012 · 23 views

I started out not wanting to be touched at all and two days later I'm being promiscuous! Again. This is the worst of them all because I'll keep doing it and after every guy I sleep with, I'll feel guilty and horrible. I don't want to sleep with anyone! Yet there's this other side of me right now that is strong and wanting to se...


A date and a trick...

Posted by slb720 , 24 March 2012 · 33 views

Okay, I went on a double date tonight. Is this okay? The last assault happened three days ago...am I just trying to act normal? The strange part is that I had fun and I really like this guy. He's 19, a little younger than me. He's sweet and didn't try anything. We ended the night with a hug. He said he likes me and wants to see me again. I hon...


Can't sleep

Posted by slb720 , 24 March 2012 · 24 views

I told my parents. The Rape Response person gave me this folder and said that a lot of people just give their family a paper in it that explains a lot of things and ways to help. I couldn't walk up and give it to them because of embarrassment, so I made it into a paper airplane and threw it down the stairs haha. They got it and told me I can talk to t...


Feeling irritable

Posted by slb720 , 23 March 2012 · 23 views

I just woke up "on the wrong side of the bed" today. This morning at about two, I was starving so I went and got some cereal. I was scared to go downstairs, which never really happens. My step-mom got up too, I guess she couldn't sleep, but this made me get even more scared. I was kind of loud in the kitchen, trying to hurry. On the way upstai...


**Trigger warning** It happened again.

Posted by slb720 , 22 March 2012 · 35 views

I haven't been here for almost a year. I've had quite a few low spots. I was living in Virginia and about two months ago I moved back home to Maine, where I'm staying with my parents for the time being. I felt like everything was getting better. I've been sober for over a month, I stopped cutting, I got a new therapist, and have my meds st...

March 2012


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