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So what's the point?

Posted by crazysanegirl , 22 September 2009 · 12 views

So what's the point of all this? Exposing my misery to the world? Making myself 'remember' shit on the basis that it will help me move on? Help me talk in therapy? How long does one need to be in therapy before one is fixed anyway? What does 'fixed' mean? That all of a sudden I'll be all happy for the rest of my life; that I won't feel an urge to get anyt...



Posted by crazysanegirl , 20 September 2009 · 6 views

[Edited note: I've noticed that I'm way more productive when I write with an imaginary audience in mind than when I pretend no one is reading. When I first started writing here, I was constantly writing in my entries to 'stop censoring' and 'you do not exist in my mind'. Anyway, this edited note just to say that I'm not all o...


the theory works!

Posted by crazysanegirl , 18 September 2009 · 7 views

[Edited note: my friend wasn't the only one to have a few drinks tonight... I joined her for at least 2 bloody Caesars before writing this not-so-coherent-and-cohesive entry. [Edited-edited note: yeah, like not having a few drinks makes what I write more coherent and cohesive...]]

No, not that theory. The theory I used to have about girls that e...



Posted by crazysanegirl , 17 September 2009 · 6 views

So I was reading by blog a few entries back and I have to figure out a way to inform myself - instead of you - when stuff actually is triggering. To me, I mean. I read my trigger warnings and I'm like 'meh, whatever'. Then I went over the 'Me, the abused/abuser' entry and I had a little gag reflex going on... Not good. But good, i...


Leaving Las Vegas

Posted by crazysanegirl , 16 September 2009 · 7 views

Me again. Yeah, I know, I can't stand the thought of reading myself three times in a day either. No, not you. I'm actually just talking to myself; whichever self. Oh, I'm just kidding. Trying to freak you all out with the MPD thing.

I think maybe I'm just a bit stressed out and that's why I keep coming back today. Then again, I...


trying to say

Posted by crazysanegirl , 16 September 2009 · 8 views

*** I'm kinda tired of always having to edit-in this 'possible *T*' section. I mean, by now, you should pretty much be used it: my *T* tendencies, that is. It just disrupts my flow. Having to go back and stuff. If you ask me, there's nothing *T* about this because whenever I think I'm going to get all heavy and literal I don't....


Broccoli v. men

Posted by crazysanegirl , 16 September 2009 · 7 views

*** To me it's not *T*, but maybe to you it is. Especially if you hate the f-word, or talk about escorting and shit (and words like shit, sorry for that).***

Ok. Been a while. I really need to start writing and saying and get out of my head bad poetry style.

Where to start? Well, it's been what? a year since the last significant entry? I do...


any touch

Posted by crazysanegirl , 13 September 2009 · 7 views

It wanes, it blurs, it makes you think it's gone away until again you hear it stir - in the rustle of sheets; in the rustling within you you feel as the arms you yearn for close in; in his grip, as he feels the same inexplicable draw to you that drew you to him; in his arms, which ceaselessly reminds you of other arms - arms armoured for battle; arms...


Me, the abused/abuser

Posted by crazysanegirl , 22 February 2009 · 8 views

***trigger for extremely crude visuals - prostitution ***

There are lots of books about it out there; 'my story' tell alls, 'factual' world-wide or country-based overviews, 'shoulds' and 'should nots' opinion pieces; law papers, policy papers, psychology papers; disciplined papers making a chaos of noise, attempting to ali...


Stop dwelling, first.

Posted by crazysanegirl , 10 December 2008 · 7 views

Need to stop dwelling on the shit.
Rise up N., stop letting the little things of life, the stuff everyone deals with by taking a breath and keeping their head high, set you back.
You are here for a reason - to live your life and serve.
You can't do any of those things if you just let yourself become your own collateral damage.
Get over it; stop beatin...

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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.