crazysanegirl's Blog

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.

lizzie likes this

'Ivrogne'

08 December 2009

Posted by crazysanegirl

I recently learned of a nuance in French between two words: 'alcoolique' and 'ivrogne'. I thought they were synonyms. I love words and I'm always pleasantly surprised whenever I learn that a word common in my vocabulary didn't quite have the meaning I'd thought it had until then. Or when I learn a new word and all of...

Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

A Whopper on Ste-Catherine and Main

08 December 2009

Posted by crazysanegirl

Since I'm not doing anything with my life, not writing my thesis, not getting out of the house, I might as well address unfinished writing. Here's something I've finally finished today. It's 6 years old. When American dollars were still far more valuable than Canadian.

A Whopper on Ste-Catherine and Main

It's...

Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

I want to

07 December 2009

Posted by crazysanegirl

I want to scream.

Just scream. Really loud.

But I can't scream, 'cause that would wake up the neighbours.

But I'll have to scream - let it out - one day, lest I accept that my only scream will be the one I make in that flash second I see my death before it hits me.

I'll learn to speak before.

Universe: hope with me.

csg

Icon 0 Comments

So it's been a while

01 December 2009

Posted by crazysanegirl

I wrote other entries but didn't publish them. Today I'm just going to write whatever crap I think I right... write and get it over with. Interesting freudian slip there.

Isa has been dead just over 2 months now. She hasn't come in a dream; she hasn't sat by my bed and stroked my hair like my grand-mother's sister did to...

Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

The good side is superior

01 December 2009

Posted by crazysanegirl

Whenever I talk about myself to Mrs. E., my psychoanalyst, I always do it as if I were made up of two entirely distinct entities. I guess that transpired in my choice of 'crazysanegirl' as a user name. But with Mrs. E., the dichotomy is between good and bad.

I actually physically divide the two. When I talk about my life experiences, I...

Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

Isa

22 November 2009

Posted by crazysanegirl

Tu me manques... tellement.

Crise de pleurs. Je t'aurais appelée normalement. Tu m'aurais consolée; tu serais venue avec deux grosses bières. Mais t'es pas là. Et j'ai appelé tantôt; ton tel est effectivement déconnecté.

Isa, j'ai tellement mal... Je ne sais tellement pas comment dealer avec ce mal...

I thought you'd...

Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

Dad

23 October 2009

Posted by crazysanegirl

Editor's note: since Isabelle died I lost my voice. I tried to come on here a few times, tried to write, tried to focus, tried to put words to 'it', but nothing really came. No entry to publish. Or rather, only entries I didn't want to publish. Here's one:

I've been quiet the last few weeks. Didn't have much to...

Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

Today's the day

01 October 2009

Posted by crazysanegirl

I couldn't take it anymore. That tight feeling in my chest I get right before I have a panic attack. I'd had one the night before when I made the mistake of going to meet her ex - her ex that I've always hated and hold partly responsible for her death. He was one of the drops.

He'd been calling every day, telling me Isa would...

Read Full Entry →

Icon 1 Comments

-none-

27 September 2009

Posted by crazysanegirl

I feel so empty.

I've never felt so empty in my life.

It doesn't register in my brain. She's not dead. She's just away. I keep calling her and writing her. I want her back.

I want my Isabelle back.

I want her to call. I want to see her. I want to touch her. I want to hold her.

I want Isa...

Isa, j'ai besoin de...

Read Full Entry →

Icon 1 Comments

My best friend, no more

26 September 2009

Posted by crazysanegirl

Last Thursday, around 5pm, my best friend took her own life.

I was out of town at the time. I learned the news on the radio, on Friday, on the highway, as I was driving back home. She was a well-known author.

I still haven't really assimilated the information, but I'm sure I eventually will and lose the urge to call her like right...

Read Full Entry →

Icon 0 Comments

lizzie likes this

Back to blog home →