Whining is always about comparison. Most other people have this or that so I should too. I mean: most people finish writing their thesis in a semester. It shouldn't take me three. But is that even true? 'Most people'? I don't know; don't have stats. I suddenly stop caring when I see how ridiculous that comparison sounds when I write it.
Once you stop comparing yourself to others you start realising what you have above everyone else: you. And what's restricting you from having what you want: you again, because you're too busy comparing yourself.
When Isa was still there, and she used to whine a lot like me, I used to talk just like here: look at you, not at others; common-sense advice that can be given because, with friends, it's easier to be objective; to see them for how great they really are.
Not being able to see yourself for yourself is an age-old problem. No way to step out of yourself to gain a fuller perspective.
Or is there?
Maybe it's not about stepping out but about stepping back. Seeing the overall picture: there's a side of you that likes to sabotage everything the other side dreams up.
Understanding where that side comes from or even acknowledging its existence is not an issue. I know I'm in this state of depression I'm in because the sabotage-side of me decided this is where I belonged. Knowledge is power.
Stepping back to better step in and save the dreamer: introducing better, you-know-you-know-them arguments instead of continuing to be the maker of my own demise by giving full reign to what amounts to nothing more than a voice in my head: "you don't deserve anything good"- no Goliath.
Thoughts. Sounds easy to just shut them out and replace them with other, more 'positive', Dr-Phil-pop-psychology 'tapes', but not so much.
It doesn't work that way. You don't wake up one day and say 'I'm great' and then 'go and get 'em'.
So how does it work? What am I missing?
The will to step up? No kidding, but where do you find that?
You've gotten this far... You'll figure it out, N.