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I guess it worked

Posted by crazysanegirl , 28 November 2012 · 52 views

Saying it out loud. Stopping myself mid-way. Posting here. Sharing feelings.

I never ever talk about my feelings. I'm afraid of them. They are overwhelming.

I didn't send the email to the client.

I know what's good for me.



In other news, my best friend ditched me. I sent her that one email too much and she told me she'd had en...


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Prostitution, get out of my head

Posted by crazysanegirl , 26 November 2012 · 134 views

Coming clean post. I did it again. The time between times gets longer and longer though... At least there's that that's positive.

I think the last time was in 2009. And then, one month ago.

I didn't do it for the same reason I did it the other times. Something didn't come over me - something came over me other times when I create...


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Men

Posted by crazysanegirl , 16 November 2012 · 27 views

Men
Clients
Hands
Mouths
Hours
Alleged feeling of power

No power

With real men

Freeze:

I think of clients, hands, mouths, hours.

Men
Non-clients
a species of thing I don't understand

Men are always
hands mouths hours
That's how I see them

I don't want it to last hours
I want to regress back in a little shell

I want to be a crab
Crack men hands, mo...


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I need to cool it down

Posted by crazysanegirl , 10 November 2012 · 65 views

Stop taking everything so seriously.
Stop seeing everything you do as bad, irresponsible, immature, misguided.
You're doing the best that you can with what you have.
So you have issues; like a drug addict sometimes you fail, you go back to it.
So fucking what?
You don't need to pray while it's happening.
You don't need to pray after it...


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I did it again

Posted by crazysanegirl , 09 November 2012 · 55 views

Mrs. E said maybe it didn't have to do with control.

"Maybe you need to be in the role of the victim."

Victim? Me? No, I do it because I get pleasure out of controling them! Escort, I mean. Courtisane. Whore. Whatever. I did it again. Well, there's a story behind it but I haven't told Mrs. E.

The story is that I've now...





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Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.