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and.the.livins.eaze's Blog


Breaking down

Posted by and.the.livins.eaze , 01 December 2012 · 29 views

I feel like i always end up in this same spot, feeling depressed. except i never know how to let anyone know until it is to late. Ive tried so hard to get myself to a good point in life but no matter how it happens i end up back at shit bottom again. I'm so close to dropping everything, leaving school, going home but i don't want to i just don...


random journal/vent

Posted by and.the.livins.eaze , 24 November 2012 · 24 views

I don't know why i keep getting into these funks even when i don't realize it. It is like i feel out of place,distant, spacey..i don't even know. It has been forever since i have been on here and i guess i just need to vent/journal it out so sorry if you click my blog but this is more of a..i don't know.

I feel like my head is going to e...


horrible day

Posted by and.the.livins.eaze , 02 May 2011 · 21 views

Today was horrible. I don't know why it is any different from any other day but today the pain hurts more. I have dealt with all i can or at least all that i want to. My heart hurts yet i keep moving. Today i am fed up with everything. I don't know how to describe the mood i am in but i feel like i am walking through life dead. I want to be that g...


i don't know

Posted by and.the.livins.eaze , 01 May 2011 · 24 views

I feel like people look at me and wonder what the fuck is that.
They donít see me but only the scars able to see.
I hide behind closed doors but the scars let them peak through.
My poker smile is fading away but life isnít holding back.
Everything goes on when all I am is stuck in a daze.
Inside me is terror, hate and anger but my soul still strives.


62 years.

Posted by and.the.livins.eaze , 01 March 2011 · 42 views

This is the only place i feel like i can be me. I tried out for an ultimate frisbee team and i felt so alone. All the other kids just laughed and it hurt me so bad. I testified against him again for the last time yesterday. He was sentenced to 62 years in jail. It was so weird. He looked so innocent and old and fragile. He lost so much weight. I had to ge...


my story/life right now

Posted by and.the.livins.eaze , 05 December 2010 · 34 views

So this post is probably going to make no sense but I need to get this stuff out. This might be triggering but i am not sure. :trigger:

So my name is Chloe. I was adopted from Mississippi when i was a baby. The parents that adopted me are the ones i am talking about, so if i say mom and dad it is the people who adopted me. My dad has been sexually abuse...



Posted by and.the.livins.eaze , 26 November 2010 · 21 views

So i havent been on here in awhile and i feel bad to blow up but i don't know what to do. Thid is part of my story i would say...i told, almost two years ago and was placed in foster care right after i told. Since that day i have been waiting for the trial against my dad to begin. the trial finally took place on october 4, 2010. I was expecting me to...



Posted by and.the.livins.eaze , 03 August 2010 · 14 views

Im not to sure if my life would be considered complicated..but im confused and everything else out of my mind.

its been over a year since i told.ever since then i have been up and down. the words i heard were..foster home.you dont deserve to live.bitch.home wrecker.group home. they dont care.sister.suicide.cut.meds.psycho.fuckup.dont ruin your life.ugly...



Posted by and.the.livins.eaze , 13 July 2010 · 12 views

so, the trial was suppose to have happened multiple tims ago. Ive been waiting a year..people have lied. broken my heart. left me alone. i dont even know how to find myself.i have been moved around..home to home.hospital to hospital. why? what did i do so wrong? ive lost myself..its like im still living but eveything else isnt..i just go through my days w...


..cant be anyone

Posted by and.the.livins.eaze , 13 July 2010 · 17 views

i dont even know where to start but i guess i should get some stuff down.

im broken.

im dead inside.

i dont think i can be someone.

i dont know how much longer i can hold on.

what is wrong with me.

everything is happening so wrong...


am i that bad of a person..guess so. F*** life

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