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bellachai's Blog



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Life in the Loud Lane

Posted by bellachai , 30 July 2010 · 17 views

I feel gross tonight. I am so hot. It is after midnight and the cooler is on yet the sweat is just pouring off of me from my head and neck. I am bloated and tired yet I cannot sleep.

I did very little today. Somewhat depressed and annoyed.

Months ago my daughters boyfriend, fake jake got a moving violation ticket. To most everyone it is fairly mino...


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duh!

Posted by bellachai , 29 July 2010 · 29 views

It is strange when you spend your entire life trying not hurt anyone in anyway, always taking care of everyone and their needs and wants and sacrificing who you are then switch to trying to find out who you really are by going to therapy and doing things to help yourself to becoming whole, true to yourself and achieve wellbeing on so many levels to discov...


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electricity is grand

Posted by bellachai , 28 July 2010 · 17 views

My little town had a transformer blow yesterday in which the entire town had no electricity for over two hours then as they repaired this the electricity kept going on and off. I gave up trying to be on the internet.

My mother picked me up yesterday and took me to breakfast. Spending time with my mother is always an experience and often not entirely pl...


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Communities

Posted by bellachai , 25 July 2010 · 26 views

I was thinking that I could belong to so many communities:



:cry:



I could be in a COPD community.
I could be in a depression community
I could be in a wieght watchers community
I could be in a meopause community
I could be in a GERDS community
I could be in a fibromylasia community
I could be in an...


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Strange day

Posted by bellachai , 23 July 2010 · 21 views

Yep odd occurances today.

I met up with my parents this morning at Dad's doctor appointment for his back. Dr. told him his lifting anything days are over for the rest of his life. He hasn't any discs left. No wonder he walks kind of crooked. It is all those years of lifting cement panels. Anyway mom gave me some veggies from their garden; zu...


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Dances in my head

Posted by bellachai , 22 July 2010 · 16 views

How do we accept the unacceptable?


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Wow I just don't get it

Posted by bellachai , 22 July 2010 · 20 views

why can't I have more than one good day in a row without any adversity or pain? I don't get it.

Why can't I keep treating others as I would want to be treated and it not become a boundry issue? I don't get it.

Why do I feel guilty about everything that is not even in my control like being disabled? I don't get it.

Why do I have t...


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Not so bad today

Posted by bellachai , 21 July 2010 · 18 views

It is raining and I am so grateful even if it is for today. It is a break from the heat. It is refreshing and oh did I mention cooler. Only five years ago I did not suffer from the heat or even perspire much when as active as I was. I can honestly I do not like it.

I had therapy this morning and it went well. My T stated that even if I did not have...


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Scars

Posted by bellachai , 20 July 2010 · 23 views

I should be in bed fast asleep especially since not only do I have therapy I also am meeting my mother for lunch and it has been so damn hot out melting the little energy I do have. My mother is an entirely different animal. Any way my mind is still fill with so many thoughts and now has been stuck on something.

This is the something. We all have emot...


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Round and Round

Posted by bellachai , 20 July 2010 · 23 views

I have been attempted to blog since 3 am this morning. I am having difficulty I think because I have too much going through me head and I feel confused with so many questions and very few answers. It just goes round and round at then stops randomly like music only music most of the time is pleasant.

Here is a sample:

My daughter and her boyfriend have...






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