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Zelda, bellachai and lamby like this
Posted by bellachai  
I think it will help to write today's scenario as it is just so maddening to me.

My daughters paycheck was suppose to come on this last Wednesday. She works for the Census Bureau. It is a temporary job but it pays well. She called her group leader today and found out that everyone else received their money but it was about one third of...
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Out-of-Character

26 March 2010
Posted by bellachai  
Well I have my children freaked out temporarily. I spoke at length on the phone to their father. My daughter was upset at first cuz I haven't spoken to him nicely for over ten years and avoided speaking with him since our divorce in 1994.
He remarried last year to a woman 28 years younger than he is and yes I find that not so appealing or...
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A moment of bliss

25 March 2010
Posted by bellachai  
I am content with the peace and quiet of my home for the moment.

My daughter was suppose to get her paycheck yesterday and it did not come today either. I tried to get her to call her group leader with the census bureau to see if something was up or could something done. No she instead chose to have a hissy fit and pout and told both Eddie...
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My progress report

24 March 2010
Posted by bellachai  
I have returned from therapy. I see my therapist at the community mental health department because I no longer have health insurance and cannot afford private counseling. I get therapy for free. I lucked out though to have a good therapist. She does not allow me to divert conversations I do not wish to delve in. Anyway I have been seeing her...
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Posted by bellachai  
My daughter's boyfriend, Eddie Haskell announced today he has a good job and it is farther away than where his father lives which is only a state away (8 hour drive). He says he will be leaving next Monday. Do I dare to celebrate or how awful am I a young man my daughter loves to be glad he is going, that is if he is going since he has lied...
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Confused

21 March 2010
Posted by bellachai  
Okay I published the first chapter of my life but I cannot find where it went. I is not on blogs. Does anyone know why I cannot see it but my profile says it was posted? :confused: Blessings to all.

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Disgusted

21 March 2010
Posted by bellachai  
I just finished writing the first chapter of my uncensored life when my computer did something strange and I lost the whole thing before I could publish it. It took me about an hour to write it. It least is was the beginning when life was not Hell yet so was not emotionally difficult to write but still......

I am tired so will try it again...
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Logic

20 March 2010
Posted by bellachai  
I know that I am an idealist but my brian functions analytically and linear. I have decided to use my blog in a separate way to tell my story in chapters then I can stop and start at will. Logical to me as the memories are poisoning me. I know from therapy that healing is in telling telling the story.

I will use this blog as my real everyday...
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Posted by bellachai  
I could not fall asleep last night and wrote the blog about my spirituality to seek comfort. It worked and after I blogged I found blessed sleep and peace for awhile. I forgot to write in the Enlightenment blog that I do believe in good and evil. I believe that sexual predators are evil and have no soul. Looking into their eyes shows no soul. ...
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Faith

18 March 2010
Posted by bellachai  
I think that I have a very odd take on faith and religion but it works for me. I cannot imagine an all powerful God that would allow the torture and abuse that happened to me or any child for that matter so I do not believe in a God like that. Yet on the hand I do not believe we just materialize out of nothing. That we just are is beyond my...
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Zelda, bellachai and lamby like this

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