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Zelda, bellachai and lamby like this
Posted by bellachai  
One fairly recent and one years ago.

I took my mother yesterday to have an endoscopy. We had to drive to the bigger town of Grand Junction which is around 54 miles. It was a clinic/surgercenter that only does endoscopys and colonoscopys.

I sat with her in her prep room. I became uncomfortable and felt like I might have a panic attack (I...
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Pain in the Neck

11 March 2013
Posted by bellachai  
in more ways than one!

A very sweet and special person here reminded me that I have not blogged in some time. I believe she was also reminding me that blogging has helped me in the past. She is correct.

I have been lurking here reading. Since my computer exploded I have been sharing my daughter's computer with her and her boyfriend so...
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Alone at last

26 January 2013
Posted by bellachai  
My daughter and her boyfriend spend most of their time in their room since they moved their TV and Xbox out of my livingroom. I no longer have to watch the boyfriend play such violent games with tempertantrum thrown in from time to time.

Occationally my duaghter is generous with letting me use her computer like now since mine blew up. It does...
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So What?

20 January 2013
Posted by bellachai  
When I not on the computer I think of sorts of things to write in my blog but once here it just drains all out of me and I do not even know where to begin.

I am feeling the affects of not being in therapy. Perhaps it is more cuz they cut me lose and I had no say in the matter. Doesn't matter as I can feel myself sinking into that hole of...
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just a ghost now

17 December 2012
Posted by bellachai  
I am a ghost of the person I use to be.

Anything I say or do is of no interest to anyone in real life.

When I speak my mother says "hmmmmm".

When I speak to my daughter she says "I know mom"

All the friends I once had are gone now. They all were as active, intelligent and fun as I once was. I cannot be those things...
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Life is a beach ha ha!

04 December 2012
Posted by bellachai  
I still wonder if I am cursed cuz crap just follows crap lately.

My daughter caught a cold so it is not a big surprise that I now have a cold. Praying and hoping it does not turn into pnuemonia. Feel like crap.

So not surprising that my daughter's boyfriend is sick too but not with cold symptoms. Don't know what he is ill from cuz he...
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Strength

28 November 2012
Posted by bellachai  
Often when I feel overwhelmed or feel sorrow for how my life has turned out I recite a part of a poem by William Wordsworth. Thought I would share:

"What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now forever taken from my sight
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendor on the grass, of glory in the flower
We will grieve not,...
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Yahoo!/Boo Hoo

24 November 2012
Posted by bellachai  
Some mood swings at my house for the last few days. I think it is my daughter and her boyfriend but perhaps they are the even tempered nonpouting ones and it is me who has gone over the edge. ????? At any rate they at least will be gone for a couple more hours and I am grateful. I share my PC with them and so I do not get the time I would like...
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Posted by bellachai  
It is so sad that a quality life depends so much on money of which I have very little of.

The quality of my life also depends on quiet and peace. I had a few hours while my daughter and her boyfriend went over to a childhood friend of my daughter to hang out with a few other people. They fought almost all day about her friends. He did not...
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What did I say?

06 November 2012
Posted by bellachai  
I have been quiet on here and in real life. If my daughter tells me one more time "mom, you told me that already" or "mom I told you that before" I think I would lose it and pull out all of my hair :gaah:

I DO remember my daughter telling me the other day that I am the most un-self absorbed person in the world. At first I...
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Zelda, bellachai and lamby like this

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