Like a broken record
I recently read some news that once again quoted Hilary Clinton when she was being questioned about Benghazi infamously "well what difference does it make at this point?" I personally think that taking responsibility for four American deaths might make a big difference to their family and friends and to the America I use to be proud of yet still love.
Anyway not to get side tracked on politics the quote has stayed with me for a few days. I don't know why I did not pick it up when she said it. I think I picked it up because that is how my family and now long gone fair weather friends thinks about me being a survivor of CSA and SA. They see it as something awful that happened to me that they refuse to envision but it is over with and in the past so what difference does it make at this point in my life? I could write a book on this topic.
Due to this attitude and thinking I did not heal from my abuse early on. The 60's and 70's there was no talking, arresting or reporting CSA. The were no laws then that required intervention. It was taboo. You did not talk about it and you did not see it period. Furthermore in the 60's and 70's the medical field protected their own and my mother was a respected nurse. My doctor was the doctor she worked for. I will never know if he even thought I may have been abused. Physical evidence was right in front of him everytime I was taken to the hospital. Unnecessary surgery was done on me cuz no one could find what was causes such severe bladder/kidney infections when there was nothing wrong with those organs to begin with. They tried to fix what was not even broken. They never fixed what was broken. Just more horror to my childhood.
What difference does it make at this point? I am disabled physically and emotionally because what was wrong was not fixed, there was no healing for so many decades that my body and mind, although there were warnings from time to time which I ignored, could not hold the pain in anymore and I was broken in ways that can never be fixed. The trauma from those experiences were never addressed therefore it broke me. I think it is a big deal and a big difference. No one took responsibility for what happened and how it has affected me negatively most of my life. No one paid for my pain and suffering Not one of my abusers ever was arrested or thrown in jail. The evil stepfather should have lived his live and died in prison. Nothing would have happened even today if my cousin had been held to be accountable as she was only 16. "OHH what a bad girl you are. you are grounded for a month" After that she probably found another victim. I have no contact with her. The date guy I heard later had a breakdown himself from some form of mental illness and was in a psychiatric hospital. After that I don't know.
I wonder if Chelsey was one of the ones killed in Bengazi if Mrs. Clinton would have said that quote.
I guess I am accepting this broken record as a truth because it is what it is: ignorance.
Take good care