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I knew it ! :(

Posted by bellachai , 17 February 2014 · 139 views

It appears that my daughter's boyfriend is still a poser and a liar in regards to his obtaining an oil field job in Wyoming.  Knowing this does not give me any pleasure only much sorrow and anger.
This story began on February 6th. He showed us a hard hat and gloves stating they had given them to him for this job.  I also saw a paper they had filled out for him to be tested for drugs.  He was leaving for Pinedale that weekend the employment agency would call.  They did not call. 
Monday February 10th he drove to the agency and came back reporting that they are still sending him to Pinedale but not until the storm they were having calmed down some.  They were having a storm I checked.
Thursday February 13th he drove to the agency and came back and reported that they were going to send him to Brighton Wy instead and he would be leaving that weekend or for sure Monday for at the latest.
Today is that Monday and he drove to the agency then Walmart for more food for him.  All he said to me was they just said more of the same as they have been and he is getting pissed.  SWEET.  Then he went in and told my daughter I guess and when they both came back in the living room they were talking about how bad his back hurts.  He was fine this morning when he first got up.  So oh poor boyfriend.  My daughter has not said a thing about this stupid make believe job.
My daughter has in the past told me several times that she is only stupid when it comes to the boyfriend.  They have been together for 5 years now.
They have $250.00 of my money for my daughter to begin the dental work she needs and for one of our cats to have some teeth removed, he's getting old.  We all three decided he should use this money to get to his new job.  He is packed and it is all on my dining room table still.
I wonder how long he will play this delay of job?  I guess there is no question that my daughter stupidly is going to continue to believe his BS.
I tried to hold the tears of frustration and anger back but I failed.  My daughter saw and asked and I told her it was nothing and she asked no further.  I think she knows but is going to play stupid.  We are going on a third week of this BS fantasy.
I don't know what I am going to do about this yet.  My sorrow is for my daughter's stupidity and in the end she will pay the biggest price.  I just did not want to be part of the opposing equation.
I just don't know how to deal with this properly.

:( I'm so sorry. Sitting with you while you work out how to deal with this.

I don't think that people in these kinds of relationships are necessarily stupid.  It's even more common for the person getting taken advantage of to be extremely loving and loyal, but also have very low self esteem.  


I don't think that the "problem" is the boyfriend, it's her level of self respect and self worth.  Why else would she put up with a liar and a user instead of standing on her own and finding someone worthwhile?  Help her to realize those things about herself.


This is just from my perspective, I used to fall into the same sorts of relationships not understanding why.  I only changed in my mid 20's.  Best of luck!  Lots of love, patience and wisdom always helps, but she may need to figure things out on her own at the end of the day.

Feb 18 2014 04:13 AM
I'm sorry you're daughter's bf, is treating you like that. It's not right.
Feb 18 2014 07:36 PM

I'm sorry, Bella. I was hopeful that this was real too. It sounded very convincing. I'm sorry it is turning out to be one more disappointing lie.

Thank you all for caring and comments. :)

June 2016

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