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Inner conversations

Posted by bellachai , 07 June 2013 · 109 views

When I received the letter stating I was approved for disability I cried in relief. Since then I have a lot of inner conversations going on.

Reading the letter again and again noticing the word 'severe' hit me in the face with the reality yes I am ill and I will not get any better. The only thing I can do is manage all my illnesses as best I can. I will spend the rest of my life dealing with pain on a daily basis. It has caused recent sorrows upon this reality. I never in my imagination ever thought that this would be my fate. BUT it is what it is.

Anxiety from what if it is a joke and money won't come. I will feel this anxiety until I actually have money in my hand.

Observing disturbing behaviors of those in my life and sorting out which are petty and those that I will have to pick my battles.

It has been like: And then blah blah and then blah blah blah and then more blah blah blah.

Blessing to all

Thinking of you bella :hug:
Jun 07 2013 10:56 AM
Thinking of you. :metoyou:
Thinking of you. This is a lot to take in, big stuff.


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