Reading the letter again and again noticing the word 'severe' hit me in the face with the reality yes I am ill and I will not get any better. The only thing I can do is manage all my illnesses as best I can. I will spend the rest of my life dealing with pain on a daily basis. It has caused recent sorrows upon this reality. I never in my imagination ever thought that this would be my fate. BUT it is what it is.
Anxiety from what if it is a joke and money won't come. I will feel this anxiety until I actually have money in my hand.
Observing disturbing behaviors of those in my life and sorting out which are petty and those that I will have to pick my battles.
It has been like: And then blah blah and then blah blah blah and then more blah blah blah.
Blessing to all