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I look forward to sleeping and do it whenever I can. Sad huh? I like that state where you aren't quite asleep but feel it coming and euphorically embrace it. When I sleep the physical pain is gone until it gets bad enough to wake me. There is nothing asleep just blessed quiet and peace. No emotional stuff. No flashbacks. No tears. No decisions to make. No thoughts of harming myself in anyway. Just no emotions while asleep. I feel nothing for that time and it feels good to me.
I went today to get fitted and learn how to use a CPAP. I am lucky that I do not have to wear the full mask. My mask only goes over my nose. There is a hose attached to the mask where air is blown up my nose. The CPAP while stop me from dying in my sleep. My oxygen is tubed into the elephant trunk. Oh joy I am so looking forward to this treatment.
I showed my daughter and her boyfriend after they promised not to laugh. It was difficult for them not to. They tried very hard. I think I would scare even a burglar.
Good thing I do not have a partner cuz how exciting that would be in the bedroom. Oh wait a minute honey while I put my CPAP and oxygen on otherwise the activities may render me to pass out due to lack of oxygen and breathing. I envision how fast a guy would run out of my house once seeing me turn into halloween demon.
Well maybe it will hlep me with my depression and energy level. I am keeping an open mind about it.
Blessings to all