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Good it's raining

Posted by bellachai , 19 July 2012 · 29 views

I do not know why I have internet as I should have been shut off on the 17th but I am not going to call to find out why until I pay my bill on Saturday. Therefore I am counting this as a gift to me for the day.

I did the overnight sleep study at the sleep lab at the hospital last night. Interesting experience. They attached wires to my head, face, neck, chest, fingers and ankles. Over 24 of them which they sort of put in a ponytail behind me. They use some kind of gooey waxy stuff to attatch the wires. So when I started to brush my hair before I left it was like ewwwww how gross The room looked like a cheap hotel room but very clean.

I at first I liked the bed. It was a queen and the head and bottom could be moved up electronically which was good for reading my book. Best part was it had a massager in the mattress. Oh but to sleep on it flat was uncomfortable and I kept waking up from back and hip pain.

First half of the night I sleep without any oxygen. She woke me in the middle of the night to put on a CPAP, it just went over my nose attached to a hose. I felt like an elephant and the hose was the trunk. She said I did really well at keeping my mouth shut and not breathing through my mouth otherwise I would have gotten a full mask. She also said everytime I went into REM sleep (the most important part of sleeping) my oxygen level just rapidly went down hill so she had to start oxygen through the CPAP.

It was interesting but I really don't want to do it again. I would really be interested in watching then analyze it and how they do that. I read in the brochure that one sleep study produces about 1000 pages of information. Poor trees. I want to see the summary report.

Had DBT class today as well. I really did not want to go cuz I was and am so tired but I made myself. It was interesting and went by fast.

Well Jake made it to Grand Junction today. He will be living in a homeless shelter for awhile cuz he cannot live here. Grand Junction is 50 miles away and that is where the University is that Niki will be going to. On the positive side my daughter will be closer to me. I am focusing on that.

It really is time for me to do the radical acceptance thing. I remind myself that they have been together on and off for 4 years and she is madly in love with him. I cannot change that. Accepting that their relationship is what it is but I do not have to like and I don't. I am letting go of hoping and praying that they go separate ways. She will be 23 next month which means she is an adult and must live her own life and make her own mistakes. I just think she deserves someone more is more educated and does not have a problem with lying and exagerating. I feel sorry for him as his parents really were monsters in how they raised him. He has alot of baggage and he is an unmedicated bipolar person.

I am learning to say no and setting boundries. It feels wierd and is painful to me.

Blessings to all

June 2016

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