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My T and my mother know when I am not doing well on any level cuz I just disappear. I am now in an isolating event. This past week was tiring physically, emotionally and mentally. It also had much frustration involved in it.
I am so tired that I have not spoken any words for two days. I don't know if I am just recharging my batteries or if I have come down to the point of not really giving a shit but if that were true I would not be ridden with this sickening overwhelming sensation of guilt for pushing everyone and everything away and not being there for friends and family.
I am sick and tired of fighting for what I need not to mention anything I may 'want'. I don't believe I am even being heard in R/L so why bother speaking? Perhaps people are tired of hearing about my pain and needs or maybe they just don't give a damn or perhaps their own life is too full and painful. IDK.
Maybe I will snap out of this soon. IDK
Blessings to all
I am so tired that I have not spoken any words for two days. I don't know if I am just recharging my batteries or if I have come down to the point of not really giving a shit but if that were true I would not be ridden with this sickening overwhelming sensation of guilt for pushing everyone and everything away and not being there for friends and family.
I am sick and tired of fighting for what I need not to mention anything I may 'want'. I don't believe I am even being heard in R/L so why bother speaking? Perhaps people are tired of hearing about my pain and needs or maybe they just don't give a damn or perhaps their own life is too full and painful. IDK.
Maybe I will snap out of this soon. IDK
Blessings to all
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I am sorry for how you have been feeling. I can totally understand the isolating, and I would never hold that against you in any way. And I could never be tired of hearing about anything from you, not even the bad, or the painful, or what your needs are.
I have been where you have been, recently, in fact, and I hope that you can start feeling better. I don't know if snapping out of it is what happens, because that almost seems like it would be too easy. I think it just takes time, and you have to give yourself the time. And I am here, waiting, and here for you if you want or need to talk. Although I understand how it is to figure why bother speaking when you don't feel like you are being heard in R/L.
Just know I am here, thinking of you, sitting with you, offering my support if there's anything I can do for you.
Blessings to you, and lots of hugs, my dear friend.
you know i'm a big isolator. maybe it's what we need in those times. i believe you're doing the best you can. i hope people start listening soon...
((((love and hugs))))
Thank for all the kind words, support and encouragement. I know I would be worse off without you three in my life. You are greatly appreciated.
Blessings