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The two hours went really fast as I found it interesting. It is about mindfulness and finding coping skills that are healthy. Like getting through a flashback with better coping skills instead of reaching for that cigarette or selfharming or reaching for that bottle of alcohol and/or illegal drugs. These are learned skills that take practice so have homework and stuff to read as well. So we shall see how well it works for me as there is one person that has been taking this class over and over for 6 years. The class lasts for almost 5 months of 2 hour classes a week plus one on one with T to discuss how DBT is helping or not. Wow and no thanks I think after 6 years if it is not helping it would be time to find another form of therapy or help.
My daughter is pissed off today and my son is very happy today.
For summer session of college for my daughter she has to move to another dorm building and will have 3 other girls in her dorm room. This last semester she had her dorm room to herself. I would not want to room with 3 other people especially when then is only one bathroom. I was unable to cheer her up.
My son got a part time job for the summer and he will return to college in the fall. He started today.
I had a couple of bad moments today. While I was outside waiting for the van to pick me up I was looking at this tree in my front yard. About a month before my dad died he was over at my house and I told him that the tree was a volunteer type of thing and asked if he know what kind of tree was it and did I need to romove it as it is close to my carport. He did not know what kind it was but I did not need to remove it. A couple of weeks ago it bloomed. Pretty small white blossoms. I did not notice a scent from them. Today I was looking at it and noticed it is growing some kind of fruit. Tomorrow I will show my mother as she will probably know what kind of tree by what kind of fruit. They right now as big as a thumb and green so IDK.
I bad moment cuz I wanted to talk to dad and tell him about the tree. Anything nature related was an easy oonversation for me. He loved the outdoors and nature. He was a hunter and a fisherman and a collector of arrowheads. I am not into hunting as I would rather pet the wild life or take their picture not shoot them. My dad knew so much about the outdoors and animals and plants. Then I thought I can't call dad anymore to ask him anything.
I had this overwhelming feeling of grief. I was kind of shocked as he has been gone for 6 months now so I don't know if it is normal to feel this overwhelming sense of loss this far out from losing him. I also wonder perhaps I am feeling this so intensely now because tomorrow is my mother's birthday and I wanted my mother to go before my dad. I know selfish thinking and a bit morbid. I wonder if I am really angry with him for leaving and leaving mother with me. With him it would be a joy with my mother it is a chore. I also just really miss my dad.
I am tired tonight so going to need all the rest I can get to be ready to spend the day with my mother on her 75th birthday.
Blessings to all