Yahoo I finally got some Lyrica two days ago. So I have been sleeping alot the last two days in getting use to it again and I don't care because it is so nice to sleep for more than 3 hours at time due to pain waking me. Miracle drug for me. Still does not touch my arthriits pain in my neck but I won't complain. My neck does not bother me when laying down to sleep. So yahoo again!!!
My hearing for social security disability is coming up and have to meet with my advocate next week which means an hour drive there and an hour back. I am very anxious about the hearing. I have waited two years for this hearing. The Government I think delays it all for as long as they can in hopes you will give up persuing it. I wonder how many die or end their life during this waiting period? Something they of course don't want the general population to know I am sure. I don't feel bad about requesting help. I have been working since I was 15 so have 35 years of paying into social security and for 10 of those years I worked two jobs. So I am not some parasite living off the system. BUT if I am not approved I have no idea what I am going to do. Maybe what I planned to do two years ago something the government would want the general public to know about.
My daughter has turned into such a bitch lately. I am pretty sure that her new hormone implant for her PMDD is the culprit of most of this. Her moods are indeed swinging and get stuck on the bitch setting. I would like to discuss with her our situation regarding food and bills but I am not up to fighting. Both she and her boyfriend did not do what they were suppose to do in Jobforce program that gives them their food stamps so I am the only one who received any this month. How am I to feed them and myself on $117.00? I also have to add more money for gas for two trips to Grand Junction this month and I have to go. What is disappointing is that they had over a hundred dollars in their bank account and they chose to spend it on a dinner out, movies and games. It is so irresponsible of them and they are a waste of my time. Everyone pushes me to kick them out and logically I know this would be the right thing to do for me anyway. I have recently figured out while email conversations with a friend the reason I don't do this even though it is irrational thinking on my part. The actual process of kicking them out would be very ughly and I have never been good at doing ughly. I have always been the negotiator and miss fixit to my family and friends. To actually experience ughly at my instigation would lead to my feeling in the wrong, guilt, rejection and abandonment. I don't know if I am strong enough yet to go through that yet. I am liking the calm before a storm way too much.
I am so sad about my daughter. I feel her drifting away from me. I sometimes think she is repulsed by me now that I am ill. She spends so much time not in my presence. Her boyfriend spends more time with me nowadays. This is all hurting me and now I am crying so will stop. Ha Maybe my tears will help get this contact out of my eye.
Blessings to all.