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Still able to breathe

Posted by bellachai , 30 August 2010 · 13 views

I finally was able to obtain breathing meds but not the Lyrica so am in physical pain. It is like musical body parts. On a piano there are all these keys to stroke. If playing say a Bach piece the keys would be played all over the place and sometime banging hard. It is an assault to all the senses; sight, touch, hearing and being mute. Screaming but not being heard. When the playing is pleasant there is the underlying anxiety of when and where will the assault next send me.

My daughter has a job interview today. I am wishing her well today.

I did not give into calling my mother after our last conversation over 10 days ago when she was angry with me as I was ill and could not have breakfast with her. She hung up after saying 'I guess we will just have to forget your birthday then'. Anyway she finally called me and was all sweet and asked how I was. But as with all conversations with her, she cannot resist some kind of critisizing dig. Yesterday's was she just does not understand how I can stand having my daughter and her boyfriend living with me. Perhaps it is not the optimum situation but at least they ask me how I am everyday whether they really care or not and run my errands if nothing else.

Tomorrow I have therapy and afterwards will have lunch with my mother. I really do not feel like doing either but will 'force' myself.

This last Friday I decided that I had to do something different as I was getting so lost in my pain. Our library was having their annual big book sale. I don't know why they say 'sale' because it is donations really, meaning you can take all you want and pay whatever you want or are able to. A massive good deal for me. I gathered all my change in a tidy sum of $6.36 and a $5.00 bill and went. I have not been collaging in over a month mostly because I haven't had much in way of magazines to work on anything. They had plenty materials for me to use at the book sale. I was very pleased with all that I was able to find to read and use for collaging. It was hot in there and by the time I got home I was so worn out and dripping from the heat. At any rate it did lift my spirits some.

Blessings to all.



I'm sorry you're still in pain. I know how bad it can get so I really hope you are able to find relief.

I love making collages, too, by the way!

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