My mother allowed my sister to spend summers with the evil stepfather after she left him (we had moved out of state). She cared about him and actually loved him. I felt he abused me because he hated me and did not abuse her because he loved her so at age 12 I never thought she was in danger. I was wrong and when my sister was 11 and came home from a stay with him I caught her tearing up all the letters and pictures he sent her. I asked her what she was doing and she was crying then she told me what he had done to her and it was just what he had done to me without the physical abuse. I can remember thinking oh no not her she loved him. His betrayal to her was so much worse. He abused her because I was no longer within his reach. I felt guilty and felt it was my fault. I was angry as well so I told my mother in hopes to stop it. My sister was never the same again. She just went wild and at age 11 she began to self medicate with alcohol and became a wild child. My mother chose not to prosecute the evil stepfather who was then married to an exnun. All that was so wrong,every bit of it. Since that time I made no secret of being a survivor of CSA. Not that I ever brought up the subject myself or gave any details to anyone. I just would awknowledge I had been abuse and no more than that. I falsely believed that my entire family was aware of all this including my sisters abuse.
When I set up my facebook account I wrote on there that I was a survivor and am working at healing it all. This caused some problems for my sister as she never told her children and my children have always known I am a survivor although they do not know the details just that it is so. My nephews saw that on my account and of course called their mother for enlightenment. It was never my intention to hurt her and I falsely thought they all knew. How stupid of me.
What I find sad is that even my mother is not telling family why I had the breakdown and is passing it off as only physical problems. My sister up to this point was also passing this off to her family as my physical problems. Neither are facing the truth for their own reasons. I just am sorry they feel it needs to remain a secret. Keeping abuse secret is how abuse is able to thrive in my opinion.
Never assume anything and expect nothing. :unsure: