Round and Round
Here is a sample:
My daughter and her boyfriend have been watching 'Jackass' on video. They think it is all funny. Only one or two things are funny to me compared to their laughing all through. I find most of it wasteful and disgusting. One episode they had this woman suck on this guys infected toe and a few vomited and it was all in colorful detail filmed. Another episode an Uncle pushed the nephew's hummer over a cliff. I was thinking that they should have given it to me. I would have sold it and I could have lived off of the money probably for a year. I do not get such destructive behavior? It saddens me that money can buy tolerance to unacceptable destructive behavior.
I think of that phrase "You get as good as you give". Well I am not seeing it; not for me or anyone else for that matter. I do not get it??????
Lately when I speak to my daughter it feels as if she is disinterested and does not take me seriously. It hurts me as well as angers me but then maybe I am imagining it. Perhaps people close get sick of you being sick whether it is physically, emotionally or mentally. I get sick of myself often but I do take myself seriously and what I say as interesting. Better just talk to myself.
I often spend more time with my daughters boyfriend than I do her. She goes to her room and I actually like it when both of them are in there like now cuz I can focus on whatever I am doing. He talks alot and asks lots of questions interupting continually. My daughter is able to entertain herself where is not able. My son is kind of like that. If no one is talking they fill the void. I do so miss the days when my daughter and I would sit in silence together with occational conversations. She would read and I would collage. I would come across something interesting in a magazine I was cutting up and tell her or show her a picture or she would tell me about the book she was reading or something just popped in head but some evenings we would sit together in quiet for hours and it felt comforting and cozy.
And there is so much more round and round they go.........