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Depression is great isn't it?

Posted by bellachai , 04 April 2010 · 28 views

I am empty of emotions today. Total apathy. What do I do now? Where do I go from here? What do I feel now? I have no answers to these questions. I care but I do not care. Does that make any sense?

I don't want to stay awake today but I don't want to go to sleep. I don't want to clean my dirty house and I want the house clean and quiet yet no motivation to get it that way even though I know it would make me feel better. My limbs feel heavy and I feel like moving would be beyond my strength yet I wish I was on a beach somewhere just walking alone. I want to feel good but then I don't care.

It seems just to be an effort to even blog. I am failing to type what I feel as I feel empty. How do you type emptiness? How do you type empty? How do you type apathy? Does this pass and if so when? Only questions today but no answers, there never seems to be answers.



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missophelia
Apr 04 2010 10:04 AM
My friend, I am so sorry you're struggling right now. I know all too well how it feels. I call it being uncomfortable with myself and everything else around me and in my life.

Just try and hang in there, because it will pass. I can't give you a time when it will pass. Sometimes it passes quickly with me, other times it takes a day or so.

And it's ok that you don't have the answers. I don't always, and it's not to be expected that you will always have the answers. It's fine that you are searching, because sometimes that's the best we can do.

Please just take gentle care of you while you are going through this time, and remember, it will get better.

peace to you my friend, and many hugs
I hope you feel better.
I know emptiness and so even without typing it, I get it. I hope it passes for you.
Jane

My friend, I am so sorry you're struggling right now. I know all too well how it feels. I call it being uncomfortable with myself and everything else around me and in my life.

Just try and hang in there, because it will pass. I can't give you a time when it will pass. Sometimes it passes quickly with me, other times it takes a day or so.

And it's ok that you don't have the answers. I don't always, and it's not to be expected that you will always have the answers. It's fine that you are searching, because sometimes that's the best we can do.

Please just take gentle care of you while you are going through this time, and remember, it will get better.

peace to you my friend, and many hugs



As always your words are wise and touch my heart missophelia. I just don't understand myself. I had such a wonderful day and felt good that to feel as I do today is a mystery and no known reason for it. I feel as if I have no purpose. I even feel teary today. Anyway thank you for the concern and the hugs as I need them today. :hug: :hug: :hug:

I hope you feel better.
I know emptiness and so even without typing it, I get it. I hope it passes for you.
Jane



Thank you Jane. My daughter recorded Avatar for me to watch so I am. I want to be one of the blue people so I can connect with animals and nature. Seems more pleasurable than real life today. Take care of yourself.
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stealing_wonderland
Apr 04 2010 06:47 PM
Bellachai,

This empty feeling comes in peaks and valleys, doesn't it ? It's so hard to find a reason or motivation in anything when the emptiness is at its peak, but I hope this feeling will pass quickly and you'll be able to go back to your daily routine soon. In the mean-time, don't try to logically explain it away or will it away intellectually. Just trust that it will pass and you will be okay. Take good care of yourself.
I am sorry you are strugling with the empty feelings. I hope it does pass quickly for you. Take care of you

Bellachai,

This empty feeling comes in peaks and valleys, doesn't it ? It's so hard to find a reason or motivation in anything when the emptiness is at its peak, but I hope this feeling will pass quickly and you'll be able to go back to your daily routine soon. In the mean-time, don't try to logically explain it away or will it away intellectually. Just trust that it will pass and you will be okay. Take good care of yourself.


I wonder how you knew that I try to analyze everything for an answer so I can then force the emptiness away? I just get sick and tired of being sick and tired. Not just the emotional pain but the physical pain as well. Trying to ease it, get rid of it and mantain a level that allows me to function in any kind of routine. I know you can relate to this. So I end up in an empty place of depression. Thank you for your response stealing wonderland. You take good care of yourself.

I am sorry you are strugling with the empty feelings. I hope it does pass quickly for you. Take care of you



Thank you for your response and caring chelirach. You take good care of yourself as well.
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silentwords
Apr 06 2010 01:31 AM
I know all too well how this feels, and hope that it passes for you. Some days this feeling is prominent in my life, and some days I feel the exact opposite. I hope that this feeling passes by quickly for you. I know that it is hard when "in a slump" to get anything done, including things that we are usually very passionate about and completely enjoy (for me music or photography), that alone something that we don't necessarily enjoy doing, like housework. I too ask myself a lot of questions daily, just as you have in your blog. Hardly ever do I figure out any answers, but I know where all of these questions come from that are in your mind. Safe hugs, take care! (Sorry I am just now reading this today, I needed to get off yesterday before I got to your blog. I hope you don't mind my late posting!) I suppose, although some things in life don't have an answer, to "thinkers", at least, that doesn't ever stop us from asking the questions.

I know all too well how this feels, and hope that it passes for you. Some days this feeling is prominent in my life, and some days I feel the exact opposite. I hope that this feeling passes by quickly for you. I know that it is hard when "in a slump" to get anything done, including things that we are usually very passionate about and completely enjoy (for me music or photography), that alone something that we don't necessarily enjoy doing, like housework. I too ask myself a lot of questions daily, just as you have in your blog. Hardly ever do I figure out any answers, but I know where all of these questions come from that are in your mind. Safe hugs, take care! (Sorry I am just now reading this today, I needed to get off yesterday before I got to your blog. I hope you don't mind my late posting!) I suppose, although some things in life don't have an answer, to "thinkers", at least, that doesn't ever stop us from asking the questions.


I am always thinking and there are always answers in my idealist mind but cannot be adapted to reality. It is like sticking a square peg into a round hole. LOL Still kind of down and still haven't done house work. I was hoping my daughter and Fake Jake would pick up my slack but no luck there so that too depresses me. Oh well (((sigh))).

Today I am going on a small road trip to do an errand I really do not want to do but..... The drive will be nice though. Weather is good, the beginning of spring and I am going alone so I will have the radio up loud so that part I will enjoy.

Thank you for your response. You take good care of your amazing self. :)

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