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Do I Dare? or How Dare I?

Posted by bellachai , 22 March 2010 · 23 views

My daughter's boyfriend, Eddie Haskell announced today he has a good job and it is farther away than where his father lives which is only a state away (8 hour drive). He says he will be leaving next Monday. Do I dare to celebrate or how awful am I a young man my daughter loves to be glad he is going, that is if he is going since he has lied so much you never know what to believe.

My daughter is 20 and it is time for her to be living her life instead of living with me making sure I am alright. I do not mind having her here but a life with me I do not wish on her. I love my daughter but I do not like the choices she is making because of Eddie Haskell and I do not like the mentality she is mimicing of Eddie Haskell. I am afraid that after they leave to be on their own that she will accept worse behavior from Eddie Haskell.

I also love my son who is currently working with his father across the US from me but I do not like that he stole money from me, decieved me which also cost me money I did not have and lied to me on a regular basis.

I love my mother but I do not like her. I love my sister but I do not like her either. I love and like my dad.

Eddie Haskell says he loves me frequently and hugs me. He says that I am a better Mom than his. It feels like BS to me. I truly believe he is a pathological liar. I know he is the laziest human being I have come across.

Since he came back here from his dad's we had quite a wind storm. It blew off the cover to my swamp cooler. They both had been outside several times and left it there. I brought it in. Eddie Haskell said he would put it on again. It still isn't on. My blessed chair where I find relaxing and comforting broke. He and my daughter watched me pull it out and repair it myself which is not to say it is repair well. They watched me and I am the one who is disabled physically and emotionally.

I have asked nicely for them to help me with house upkeep. I have had hissy fits and I have threatened them to get out if they are not going to respect my home and help out. They then do for a day or so without speaking to me as they are angry then it just goes back they way it was them doing absolutely nothing. My daughter works for the Census Bureau which is temporary and part time. Eddie Haskell does nothing just tells lies.

You know this all makes me feel like a failure as a mother. I tried not to be a mother like mine. They really have not caused me grief in ways other children do parents. Their grief was medical. My son has ADD, short term memory loss and asthma. My daughter has PMDD, Hypothyroidism, Vitamin B12 deficiency and she had gallstones since she was 12 and it was finally removed when she was 18 when they finally figured out what was causing her to have such severe pain.

I have not kicked them out probably more for the reason that when I was 18 I ranaway from my mother and dad. They were together again after 14 years of being divorced and each had a spouse in between. The Christmas after I left, I was living with a friend of my mothers and going to college, my mother sent me a box and it contained all my childhood things she kept. No Christmas card or gift just my things and she did not speak to me for a year. I do not want to be a mother like that and do things that seem like I am rejecting her boyfriend therefore rejecting her and not trusting or respecting her choice.

I am the only one that Eddie Haskell has not alienated my daughter from. All the friends she had before he came here are gone. My friends and family that are here do not speak to her anymore unless he is not around. They do not include her anymore when invited to something. Eddie Haskell has not made one friend since he has been here which is over a year. I told her once it was creepy how he desires no friends and does not have any.

I just don't get it and I really do not know what to do about it. I do know if he really leaves next Monday I will want to celebrate then I will feel guilty cuz my daughter will be depressed and sad.


Mar 23 2010 01:21 AM
I'm so sorry you have to deal with all this about Eddie. I know how hard family stress is. You are allowed to be happy if he leaves, but I understand how hard that will be when your daughter is sad and depressed about it. Maybe you can treat yourself to something you like as your way of celebrating, without doing anything that makes you feel like you're making your daughter feel worse.

If that makes any sense.

Hang in there, and I hope you can find some peace from your family stresses.

take gentle care
Yeah well they both think and believe they are helping me when the reality is they are more of a burden to me especially emotionally. Peace would be a blessing to me. Thank you for responding and your advice. Blessings

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