I will use this blog as my real everyday life things. Somehow this feels right.
My dad was sent home yesterday from the hospital. My mother now is sick herself. She has to wear a mask when around my dad. He is not allowed to have any visitors for the duration of his antibiotic intake which is two weeks. He will have a pulmonary therapist coming to their home to get his strength up. The hospital could not do any more for him that could not be done at home and he is more comfortable and happier in his own home. He will slowly waste away as his lungs continue to weaken from COPD. One would think that I would immediately quit smoking myself but alas I still like this crutch. This one deviant and comforting crutch. It releases endophines that help my depression along with my antidepressant like an extra boost. Mr. Cigarette is always there for me. How distructive am I?
I am disgusted with myself. Damn it. I just knew it and it pisses my off that I am not able to set appropriate boundries yet. My daughter told me last night that one of the jobs Eddie Haskell was hoping for in his home state did not pan out (if there ever was such a job) so he is going to look for a job in a larger town than mine that is only 50 miles away which means he will not be going back to his home state near his dad. Everyone wants me to kick him out except of course my daughter. She is being responsible and working and trying to work on her goals to move out with Eddie Haskell. I cannot bring myself to kicking him out and hurting my daughter. Maybe I can set smaller boundries like insisting he do something around the house instead of spending hours playing video games in her room or chattering endlessly with his lies to me that I no longer even listen to. This is bullshit and I know it and I do not know how to deal with it and I do not want to deal with it as I have my own pathetic self to deal with and my own snail slow goals to deal with. Oh well I will figure something out, some compromise. :beatsme:
Just venting :gaah:
Guess I will begin my story. Blessings to all who read my blogs