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bellachai's Blog



Posted by bellachai , 30 September 2013 · 285 views

The assumption of all those in my life is that my depression will go away now that I have finally been approved for disability. It enables me to pay my own way (barely).

This is a great relief to me. Being a burden to others has been a heavy load to carry not just to them but me as well. I have lived my life up to the point of my breakdown in 2008. I...


The Abyss

Posted by bellachai , 29 September 2013 · 213 views

Knowledge is power; with the right knowledge and tools one can be empowered. Just BS. I have the right knowledge and the tools yet I still hide and disappear in isolating. Isolating is not the best tool to use in a healing process. I know that yet I isolate anyway.

It comes naturally since although I am not shy I am an introvert and a idealist. That...


Met a Zombie

Posted by bellachai , 09 September 2013 · 216 views

I have long term health care. Three times a week they come and clean my home. I can also have them run errands for me. It is very helpful.

Due to my anxiety/PSTD I prefer to have the same person. Having new people in my home makes me jumpy and very nervous. I had two regular girls but one got married and moved to California and the other just graduat...


The Ironies of Life

Posted by bellachai , 07 September 2013 · 210 views

My mother is finding life after my dad's death more difficult than she anticipated with repairs to their small farm when they creep up. The newest one was finding where irrigation water is coming from that was flooding underneath the house.

She hired a man that has done many jobs for them in the past and he was the one I hired to roof my home. His...

September 2013


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