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Zelda, bellachai and lamby like this
Posted by bellachai  
I still have not processed my mother's behavior while I was in the ICU. Ten days of odd behavior for her. I think I need help with this with thoughts/ideas/insights or whatever....

She came to the hospital to see me about every other day or so and called me most evenings without making comments of how broke she is (she has plenty of money...
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Puffer fish

26 September 2012
Posted by bellachai  
I feel like a blown up fat puffer fish. I have 4 more days on the steroids then I may have some relief and deflate all this blooting that has me uncomfortable. I think if I stuck myself I would blow up.

I feel like a freak today. I am so tired and weary.

It was suppose to rain yesterday and it didn't. It was not suppose to rain today but...
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Damn it!

25 September 2012
Posted by bellachai  
I had what seemed like an endless list of phone calls to make and appointments to set. I had to leave a message with most and played phone tag with most. Today I still have some phone tagging to do cuz I turned my phone off to take a much needed nap then it was too late in the day to return messages.

I did find out that my daughter through my...
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Posted by bellachai  
I hope this post won't appear as if I am taking the last 10 day lightly. I just have not processed all I have experienced and learned in the last 10 days yet. I suspect it will be life altering and/or an awakening of some kind. I am not there yet. Sometimes we learn only what we do not want in our life rather than what we do...
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Mom Interupted

12 September 2012
Posted by bellachai  
I don't like sharing my computer with my daughter and her boyfriend. It means I don't get to be here as long or when I want to be. My daily time online is limited :tear:

Little miracles do happen. My daughter's boyfriend got a job at Taco Bell. He started yesterday. Now I am wishing, hoping and praying he keeps it. I also am...
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Elephant trunk

06 September 2012
Posted by bellachai  
It was a busy day for me and am now exhausted and tomorrow will be as busy and am not looking forward to it. I would rather be sleeping.

I look forward to sleeping and do it whenever I can. Sad huh? I like that state where you aren't quite asleep but feel it coming and euphorically embrace it. When I sleep the physical pain is gone until...
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Looking better?

05 September 2012
Posted by bellachai  
Many of the people I come in contact with lately have been saying I am looking better. I do not feel better. I had an appointment last Wednesday with the psychiatric PA. I tried to tell her that although I am receiving medical care consistantly for awhile now that I do not feel better emotionally nor physically. She stated that once I get my...
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Zelda, bellachai and lamby like this
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