Jump to content


bellachai's Blog



Photo

Two things

Posted by bellachai , 23 August 2010 · 9 views

missophelia stated that T left her emotionally raw. That reminded me of a scar my ex husband has on his shoulder. He was in a car accident before I met him and was thrown from the car and bodily skidded on the pavement which embedded some of the pavement into his skin. He told me that once every ten days or so he would go to the doctor for them to scru...


Photo

Being ill

Posted by bellachai , 23 August 2010 · 13 views

Finally feel somewhat better. Strange bug. Started with a sore throat and what I thought was allergies but....??? Sore throat went away then digestive system went haywire. Yesterday was the first day I felt better and was able to eat food without a problem. Was very tired and had a fever. I was not a pretty sight and am not sure if I am yet.

I am n...


Photo

balanced expectations

Posted by bellachai , 18 August 2010 · 10 views

Expecting everything meaning I have many boundries that either attracts all the things I need or want while living OR I continually set myself up for failure, dissappointments and heartaches.

Expecting nothing meaning I have no boundries that either attacts nothing and/or the worst of humanity OR I am pleasantly surprised when I do receive things I need...


Photo

Purple fruit

Posted by bellachai , 16 August 2010 · 9 views

I know if I am not getting enough oxygen at night when I do not dream. Fortunately for me that has not happened in a long time. Last night I had a dream in color and I could taste things. Someone from my past in real life was in my dream. He and his wife opened a resteraunt. He had this fruit that was shaped like a lime and they were next to the boxe...


Photo

Unconditionally=no love

Posted by bellachai , 15 August 2010 · 8 views

I shared my breakfast with one of my cats. She loves cantalope. Very wierd.

It has been a very quiet and unproductive day. I have been so tired today with a horrible sore throat. I think it is allergies since I do not have any other symptoms.

A therapist once told me she believes human beings are not capable of loving unconditionally. There is alway...


Photo

I Love You blah blah blah

Posted by bellachai , 14 August 2010 · 18 views

My one day of unconditional love of those who say they love me is over.

I am feeling immature right now.

My son called me. That was a highlight of my birthday. He also sent me a card that is beautiful. I know logically I should focus on this positive loving gestures and the kindness of all of you but.... I am slipping.

My daughter and her boyfriend...


Photo

Thank You All

Posted by bellachai , 13 August 2010 · 7 views

I feel humbled and grateful.

So many of you have sent me wonderfully kind and caring Birthday wishes. I have wept today in gratitude as I cannot remember the last birthday I have had with this kind of caring and friendship for me. I feel blessed to have found all of you.

Blessings and :hug:


Photo

What if..........

Posted by bellachai , 12 August 2010 · 24 views

Today is my daughter's 21st birthday.

Her boyfriend got out of jail this morning. He woke me up to give me a hug and tell me he missed me. He spent 10 days in jail. A hard lesson to learn that one should show up on a court date and on time even if it is just traffic court.

They went to the County Fair tonight to see the demolition derby and look...


Photo

Mature depression?

Posted by bellachai , 11 August 2010 · 10 views

Tomorrow my daughter (my baby) will be 21 years old. She was my 31st birthday present a day early. I have always said she was the best present I ever got. Truly blessed with my son and daughter. To me they were worth every sacrifice and hardship I endured. They gave me so much laughter, joy, love and interesting years
I am a little sad my daughter is...


Photo

Mature depression?

Posted by bellachai , 11 August 2010 · 10 views

Tomorrow my daughter (my baby) will be 21 years old. She was my 31st birthday present a day early. I have always said she was the best present I ever got. Truly blessed with my son and daughter. To me they were worth every sacrifice and hardship I endured. They gave me so much laughter, joy, love and interesting years
I am a little sad my daughter is...






October 2014

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
192021 22 232425
262728293031 

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Categories

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.