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my day of reckoning

Posted by Zelda , 13 May 2010 · 5 views

It has been nearly five months since a therapist mentioned the concept of safe place to me. Straight after that appointment I bought a bottle of whiskey and drank it - all the while sending rampaging emails to every male I know.

The reverb lasted for weeks, I contemplated delivering myself to a psych ward.

All because someone suggested I imagin...


"Ive got a problem"

Posted by Zelda , 08 May 2010 · 9 views

My older sister keeps sending cheery little notes.

Ignoring ploy is not doing the trick any longer so I composed this little ditty.

"The more you act like there is nothing going on the more creepy you are, please please please."

I hit the send key with such force and venom.

whoa what's up with that.

I have a problem.


chipping at the blog ice

Posted by Zelda , 07 May 2010 · 5 views

old habit patterns against the backdrop of new frontiers, making them glare and glow.


i got nothing

Posted by Zelda , 05 May 2010 · 9 views

Just can't seem to focus. Nothing. Big nothing. My Therapist is my subsitute impetus. I am a limp dead thing.


psychic contact/ vegetative current

Posted by Zelda , 28 April 2010 · 6 views

The bodywork that I am undergoing seems so powerful. Not only that she is so kind and nurturing to me, what it is doing is beyond words.
ok the words would be be breaking down my armour.

When someone at group mentioned coming out of my shell, I didn't think at the time, literally.


3rd person flashbacks

Posted by Zelda , 26 April 2010 · 10 views

Seeing a dead limp body being carried


deconstructing Carolyn

Posted by Zelda , 26 April 2010 · 9 views

Superstructure that kept me operating. The concrete armour slab that is my body, being chiseled. Maybe it's time for a small meltdown.


bad day

Posted by Zelda , 26 April 2010 · 6 views

This is when I wish I were further along in DBT class or whatever I am supposed to learn. Grounding myself ? No way ! I thought this may help although I have no idea what to say or anything except that I am flying apart. This body work. This healer. I never dreamed.

I just went for a walk. I just had a glass of water. I have a cat on my lap. I am...


vibrating and shaking

Posted by Zelda , 26 April 2010 · 6 views

Shiatsu healer was very intense today. Also a fender bender with my outlaw car. Not sure what will happen now.

I feel like he is just under the surface of my skin, his violence and anger. his aura


more on group

Posted by Zelda , 26 April 2010 · 8 views

After I was my turn and I finished talking (lately I have been keeping my knowitall mouth shut and listening for a change) The facilitator said something she has never said before, something about being honored to be part of our journey etc, I can't remember her words exactly.
She also said to me in front of everyone (now that it seems I have found a...



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