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Posted by Zelda , 07 May 2014 · 145 views

I spoke with my former psychiatrist last night and  I told him  the nutty idea about going to psychedelic clinic in a third world country- the one mostly for herion addicts - of which I am not.
I had the courage after so many years to ask him about - depersonalization.
Somehow it felt less dangerous to ask now that he has moved away and it really wasn't all that scary after all.   The whole time I was talking to him I was gripping my forehead, a death grip,  as though keeping contents of my brain from spewing out.
What he said was perfect and I sort of love him for it.
In short, im not crazy.
Bolstered by that I mentioned psychotic break.  the big fear.
He said he thinks I have had many of them - a statement  - I would have thought would have taken me aback -  but as soon as he said it I knew it was true.
Ive been so keyed up since speaking with him.

My big fear too. I'm far too frightened to ask. Thnks so much for sharing - it's so brave of you. Q

yeah I know and so nonchalantly he said i think you have had many- in the same breath - that I always bounce back. so must be a thing i can do without much trouble- lotta practice. just great.



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