I had the courage after so many years to ask him about - depersonalization.
Somehow it felt less dangerous to ask now that he has moved away and it really wasn't all that scary after all. The whole time I was talking to him I was gripping my forehead, a death grip, as though keeping contents of my brain from spewing out.
What he said was perfect and I sort of love him for it.
In short, im not crazy.
Bolstered by that I mentioned psychotic break. the big fear.
He said he thinks I have had many of them - a statement - I would have thought would have taken me aback - but as soon as he said it I knew it was true.
Ive been so keyed up since speaking with him.