I've been on a very long hiatus from Pandy's and I don't think it's over yet. While I may not be living with my abuser, things aren't necessarily better because he still vicimizes me from several thousand miles away. And I have the hardest time talking about it. I have come to a crossroads where I can't even think about it anymore and I pretty much refuse to talk about it. I've just removed times and places where the discussion of my abuse comes up such as Pandy's. It just crushes me, I'm just so tired, I'm so busy raising the children and going to school. So maybe I'll be back, maybe not, I don't know yet, like I said I can't stand to think or talk about it. It's just so upsetting and I don't know how I'm going to fix things. Just living one day to the next, praying the world doesn't collapse at my feet, praying my husband doesn't come back, praying we don't have to go back to where he is-Mexico. Like I can't even read my old entries, it's too sad.