So writing in the past has been something that has been healing for me. But in the last few years with college I have lost writing as a tool. My therapist of three years whom I have grown really close to and has helped me so much has to move away and so we had our last session yesterday. I've known for a while that this was going to happen and she has been so kind and helpful during the ending. Goodbyes are always hard for me. I feel like in the past people have said goodbye because of bad reasons and it was hard. This is different though. I feel positive about our relationship. She was really helpful and I am understanding of why she had to leave. It still hurts me a lot. It is a sad kind of feeling. I don't wish that we could see each other forever. That is not the nature of therapy and thats what makes therapy work the way it does. So it is a really hard feeling. I feel sad that we dont have our relationship anymore. Though I hope that she always remembers me and that I remember her/what I learned and grow from in our sessions. Our termination sesssion was really good I think. I didn't sob like I thought I would but I think even if I had she would have been supportive about it. She told me she got to know me the most out of all of her clients and that she learned a lot from me. That really meant alot to me because it felt like maybe our relationship (though not mutual like friends) was mutual in how she cared and got out of the relationship. She also complimented me which normally I hate but it felt really genuine like she actually meant it. She said she will think about me and though she will not be there physically she will be rooting for me. We stayed and talked for the remaining time even though we could have ended than and I appreciated it. The only thing I wish is that I would have asked her for a hug at the end. We don't have that type of a relationship but I just really trust her and I thionk though therapists dont typically touch clients it would have been meaningful for me. But its a small regret and if I ever run into her again I am asking her for one. SO I just wanted to write a little about how I am feeling about the session and ending. I see a new t in a week or so and that will be a scary experience but hopeful she can help me with these sadness feelings or at least give me time to talk about how I feel. I;ve cried quite a few times...sobbing. And I feel silly for it. But our relationship meant so much to me. I don't like the sad feeling. I hope it lessons until I can only look back and feel good about our relationship.