Mom's ashamed and embaressed that I'm reading self help books about rape survivorship "in the open"

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.

Mom's ashamed and embaressed that I'm reading self help books about rape survivorship "in the open"

22 February 2010

Posted by blondie2002 in Family

I had just recently checked out a few books from the Pandy's library, and I brought the one I'm currently reading up to her house to read and I (not thinking it about it) left it on one of the endtables while I got up to do something, and then shortly after that my mom gently pulls me aside and says: "Not to be rude B, but I don't think you should be reading that type of book where everyone can see it". She went on to say, "I'm not saying it to be rude." After she said that, I felt very hurt that she just wanted me to return to "normal" and never deal with it agian. :angry: :tear: I don't think she realizes, that what B did to me is going to be with me for the rest of my life. I just wish I could make her understand, but she has enough on her plate and I don't want to burden her further. :down:

Share This Entry:

Back to blondie2002's Blog →

3 Comments On This Entry

I think it says a lot about you, that you took one of the books to her house, and left it on the end table without thinking about it. I wish I had the guts to do something like that.

I think the way she reacted says a lot about the way rape and rape survivors are looked at. It's no wonder that so many of us deal with so much shame.

It's something that should be swept under the carpet, not talked about. Somehow the burden is placed on the survivor, and not the rapist, which is where all of it should be placed.

I'm sorry she hurt you, and that she doesn't understand. She may never understand. But I just wanted to let you know I think you are very strong.

:hug:

missophelia, 22 February 2010 - 03:58 PM

Report

Thank you. You're right, society today still kinda treats ra** as a taboo topic.I think it's messed up that we still need to feel shame when we didn't do anyting wrong. :angry:

blondie2002, 28 February 2010 - 12:48 PM

Report

***Update**** mom and I had a heart to heart when she took me to pick up my book that i ordered, and she says that it's not that she's ashamed that I'm a **** survivor, it's just that she didn't want me to be reading it when I'm at her work, because she didn't want agitate any of the residents and have any of the residents ask her questions about why I'm reading that book. Does that make sense? I forgot to mention that it was actually @ her work that this happened, not her house. Sorry for the confusion.

blondie2002, 05 March 2010 - 08:08 PM