Jump to content


my blog



Photo

anniversary time

Posted by missophelia , 06 August 2010 · 68 views

Today was not wonderful. I slept ok, so that hasnít been the problem. My problem is where my thinking has taken me. Sometimes I wish I could just not think at all.

On a bright note, I picked up a cleaning job for tomorrow. Itís the same lady I cleaned for 3 weeks ago. She wants me to come back again. This is ok. I think that if I was cleaning more...


Photo

next

Posted by missophelia , 05 August 2010 · 74 views

Today was better than yesterday. Which is always a good thing. I slept ok, not wonderfully. But I havenít been as tired today.

Not much happened today. It was kind of a down day, like down as in nothing happening, not as in being depressed or something. Which actually felt ok, to have a day like today.

I just finished cleaning my horribly filthy ki...


Photo

let it all out

Posted by missophelia , 04 August 2010 · 82 views

Today wasnít wonderful. It was just ok. Maybe if I just let it all out, about how I feel, then Iíll feel a little better.

I didnít sleep well. And whenever that happens, it seems to affect my day. I didnít have nightmares. I just had that dream, where I feel like Iím being smothered. I woke up for a little while, then fell back to sleep, and had th...


Photo

feeling pissy

Posted by missophelia , 03 August 2010 · 67 views

Today has been alright. Not wonderful.

I didnít sleep too well. Just restless, more than anything. No dreams, which is always a good thing. I was just up and down several times. But I was tired, so I was never up for very long at one time. So, Iíve been kind of tired all day.

My stomach is still off. And it feels like my ulcer pain is back. I do...


Photo

connection

Posted by missophelia , 02 August 2010 · 73 views

Today has been good. Long, but good. I took a little nap, kind of by accident. I guess being up early made me more tired than I thought. So, no surprise when I lay down on the couch to watch some TV--I guess I needed it!!

Shopping went ok. I was a little on edge. Itís so weird that, being in the same area as Ken, for the past 10 years, that...


Photo

what has remained

Posted by missophelia , 01 August 2010 · 43 views

Today has been better than yesterday. Definitely. Iím not feeling quite as badly as I was. I guess if things get a little better with each day, thatís a good thing. Itís just that I feel like I donít bounce back very well from having a bad day. Itís kind of scary.

And I have to admit, the things Ken said to me are still bothering me. Not like they...


Photo

self blame

Posted by missophelia , 31 July 2010 · 86 views

Well, I made it through last night. Being here, and everyone here, really helped me. I finally passed out, I was so exhausted. And no nightmare. I was so relieved.

Today has been ok. But Iíve been being really hard on myself, and Iíve been trying to change what Iím thinking. But itís not going too well.

Iím also trying to make sense of how I think...


Photo

bad

Posted by missophelia , 30 July 2010 · 59 views

Today wasnít good. And right now I feel broken. And vulnerable. And scared. And tired. And really anxious and sick to my stomach.

I had a pretty bad experience in Walmart today, and I took one of my sleeping pills when I got home. I didnít sleep for long, but Iím still tired. I know I shouldnít have taken it. My whole sleep pattern might be all s...


Photo

frustration

Posted by missophelia , 29 July 2010 · 61 views

Today has been alright, but frustrating. I guess thatís how I would sum up my whole day, pretty much. Frustrating.

I had a bad dream last night. It wasnít a nightmare like I usually get. I was thankful for that. But all the same, Iíd rather not have any bad dreams.

It was just him, staring at me. I donít know how long that went on in my dream. Bu...


Photo

hot wings and strawberries

Posted by missophelia , 28 July 2010 · 69 views

Today went well, better than I thought it would. I actually made it through court, in one piece.

I didnít do much before I went, just kind of relaxed this morning. And as I left, and on my way there, I thought about everyone here, and what everyone has said to me. And it helped so much. And Iím so thankful that all of you are here.

I really apprecia...






Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

June 2016

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
192021222324 25
2627282930  

Recent Entries

Recent Comments

Tags

    3 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 3 guests, 0 anonymous users

    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    3 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 3 guests, 0 anonymous users

    Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.