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Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

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bellachai, jmsclayton, Lucchia and 2 others like this

Desensitizing

08 February 2010
Posted by missophelia  
I had a good session with Dr H today.

I wrote out on paper my blog from yesterday and took it with me to let her read. I've shown her pictures of my artwork, but I've never let her read anything I've ever written in my blog or my journal. So, for me, it was a big step.

I think she is THE ONE person I can trust to share my...
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Posted by missophelia  
I would love to scratch your eyes out, for every time you stared at me

I would love to rip your tongue out, for every time you stopped me from speaking

I would love to rip your hair out, for every time you grabbed and pulled my hair

I would love to rip your hands off, for every time you held me against my will

I would love to rip your body...
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blast from my past

06 February 2010
Posted by missophelia  
Today I went and got some shopping done at Walmart. I kind of slipped up, and bought a bunch of junk food. My stash. Some Reese's peanut butter cups, some donuts, a large Symphony bar, should I go on?

But I did eat a fairly well balanced dinner. I had a chef salad, with meat, cheese, egg, and veggies. So, as long as I can indulge in the...
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Trauma

05 February 2010
Posted by missophelia  
I had a restless night. I fought to stay awake, because I wasn't ready for another nightmare. So I tried to stay up, and flipped channels on the TV for quite a while. Eventually, though, sleep took over.

I rarely write about my nightmares, because I'd rather not relive them. I have enough trouble dealing with memories and flashbacks. ...
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Trying to Handle

04 February 2010
Posted by missophelia  
Today started out pretty good.

Roxy is back to normal, acting like herself, happy and feisty. Makes me happy. :)

I went to the store earlier. It was crowded, more so than usual. Then I stopped at a convenience store to get gas. On my way out, I passed a cop going in.

I managed to make it back to my car just before I had a terrible...
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A Mixed Day

03 February 2010
Posted by missophelia  
Today has been both good and bad. It all started early this morning.

I didn't get much sleep. I woke up early after having a nightmare. Not as bad as some, but still bad enough. I woke up in a bad state of panic. It took me a while to be able to calm down, after much grounding and reassuring myself that I was safe. Still, I stayed up,...
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Positives

02 February 2010
Posted by missophelia  
Had a good session with Dr H today. She was proud of me for taking such a huge step in being able to let go of the self blame I've felt for years. She said it's awesome progress for me in my healing.

We talked about my anger, and my concerns that I be able to take it in a positive direction, instead of letting it fester and having it...
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Still Hanging In There

01 February 2010
Posted by missophelia  
Still hanging in there, and doing OK with my anger. It hasn't overtaken me, it's just there and I'm aware of it. I see Dr H tomorrow. I know I'll talk to her about it.

I just need to learn what to do with it, in a positive way, so that it doesn't fester inside of me.

A is still hanging in there too. She had therapy today....
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What I Deserve

31 January 2010
Posted by missophelia  
I've been doing a lot of thinking this week. I've also been saying those words to myself, as many times a day as I can. And it's made me realize something.

From day one, practically, Dr H told me that I'm too hard on myself. That I don't treat myself the way I treat others. That I don't give myself enough respect or...
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Just Another Day

30 January 2010
Posted by missophelia  
Today has just been another day. But I should be happy.

No anxiety, no depression. No feeling badly. No feeling at all.

Just numb.

For all the times I'd love to go get mind-numbing drunk, so I wouldn't have to feel ANYTHING, the way I feel now sucks.

I can't even feel any joy. Just nothing.

I suppose it will pass. It usually...
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bellachai, jmsclayton, Lucchia and 2 others like this

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