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just a short one...

Posted by missophelia , 14 December 2014 · 141 views

I just had a conversation on facebook with a fellow survivor.  She is struggling right now with some health problems, is kind of where I've been health wise.  And in the course of conversation, I told her that I've been through quite a bit this year, and that now I am doing better than I have been in a long time.
 
She asked what's been goi...


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forgiveness...

Posted by missophelia , 13 December 2014 · 175 views

I ran into someone who was a friend of mine in high school.  She was one of the nice girls in school, and by that I mean that she did not bully me, she was not hung up on being in the popular crowd, and she was just a generally nice girl.  No snobbiness.  No, she was just her true self.
 
From what I saw of her today, she still is her...


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after ramblings....

Posted by missophelia , 12 December 2014 · 146 views

So, I took the night off last night from blogging.  I think I needed a night.
 
I hope to start blogging now more regularly.  I can't let my life take me away from working on my healing.  Not like it has over the past year.
 
My mind is blown by what I have learned from doing PET.  Much more than I ever thought I would get ou...


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PET processing, part 35...

Posted by missophelia , 10 December 2014 · 167 views

Paragraph 35 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
I have learned much in doing prolonged exposure therapy. And I know that I have much more yet to learn. But I feel that prolonged exposure therapy has given me a firm foundation, and a good running start to keep learning on my journey of healing.
 
 
This is a kind of "in conclusion" paragraph. Th...


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PET processing, part 34...

Posted by missophelia , 09 December 2014 · 150 views

Paragraph 34 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
I don't think I will ever fully know why it happened, and I think now that that is not the important thing to focus on. My healing is much more important.
 
 
I know that I covered most of this last night.  And I think what I wrote here is true.
 
"Why" is not the important thing to focu...


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PET processing, part 33....

Posted by missophelia , 08 December 2014 · 110 views

Paragraph 33 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
I don't think I will ever know why he raped me. I don't think it is for me to try and figure him out. I need to focus more on what I tell myself about why it happened. I have learned that what I told myself about why it happened is wrapped up in the things he said to me, which has led to self blame for many...


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PET processing, part 32...

Posted by missophelia , 07 December 2014 · 81 views

Paragraph 32 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
What do I need to learn about that question why. Why it happened. And what are the things I tell my self about why it happened.
 
 
There have been times, over the years, that I have asked myself why. 
 
Why it happened. 
 
What does it mean about me.
 
Funny, never in all...


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PET processing, part 31....

Posted by missophelia , 06 December 2014 · 149 views

Paragraph 31 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
Some of the feelings from the rapes are feeling vulnerable, and feeling ashamed. I found that I have been affected emotionally in many more ways that to just feel horrible all consuming fear. The fear can ­be overwhelming, and sometimes easier to deal with than dealing with some of the other stuff. Hid...


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PET processing, part 30...

Posted by missophelia , 05 December 2014 · 136 views

Paragraph 30 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
About avoidance, I have learned that the more I avoid dealing with my triggers and the rapes, the more I will keep having the same problems over and over.
 
 
I think that if I had to choose, I would say that Dr K's one mantra throughout PET and, actually, since I have known her, her mantra is abo...


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PET processing, part 29...

Posted by missophelia , 04 December 2014 · 93 views

Paragraph 29 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
These things don't help when I am triggered: not breathing, dwelling on the trigger and the rapes, freezing and not being able to do anything else, and avoidance.
 
 
Just as I have learned what coping skills help me deal with my triggers and reminders, I have also learned what things don't help m...






Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    12 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 12 guests, 0 anonymous users

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