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Posted by missophelia , 14 December 2014 · 141 views

I just had a conversation on facebook with a fellow survivor.  She is struggling right now with some health problems, is kind of where I've been health wise.  And in the course of conversation, I told her that I've been through quite a bit this year, and that now I am doing better than I have been in a long time.
She asked what's been goi...



Posted by missophelia , 13 December 2014 · 175 views

I ran into someone who was a friend of mine in high school.  She was one of the nice girls in school, and by that I mean that she did not bully me, she was not hung up on being in the popular crowd, and she was just a generally nice girl.  No snobbiness.  No, she was just her true self.
From what I saw of her today, she still is her...


after ramblings....

Posted by missophelia , 12 December 2014 · 146 views

So, I took the night off last night from blogging.  I think I needed a night.
I hope to start blogging now more regularly.  I can't let my life take me away from working on my healing.  Not like it has over the past year.
My mind is blown by what I have learned from doing PET.  Much more than I ever thought I would get ou...


PET processing, part 35...

Posted by missophelia , 10 December 2014 · 167 views

Paragraph 35 of my letter to Dr K:
I have learned much in doing prolonged exposure therapy. And I know that I have much more yet to learn. But I feel that prolonged exposure therapy has given me a firm foundation, and a good running start to keep learning on my journey of healing.
This is a kind of "in conclusion" paragraph. Th...


PET processing, part 34...

Posted by missophelia , 09 December 2014 · 150 views

Paragraph 34 of my letter to Dr K:
I don't think I will ever fully know why it happened, and I think now that that is not the important thing to focus on. My healing is much more important.
I know that I covered most of this last night.  And I think what I wrote here is true.
"Why" is not the important thing to focu...


PET processing, part 33....

Posted by missophelia , 08 December 2014 · 110 views

Paragraph 33 of my letter to Dr K:
I don't think I will ever know why he raped me. I don't think it is for me to try and figure him out. I need to focus more on what I tell myself about why it happened. I have learned that what I told myself about why it happened is wrapped up in the things he said to me, which has led to self blame for many...


PET processing, part 32...

Posted by missophelia , 07 December 2014 · 81 views

Paragraph 32 of my letter to Dr K:
What do I need to learn about that question why. Why it happened. And what are the things I tell my self about why it happened.
There have been times, over the years, that I have asked myself why. 
Why it happened. 
What does it mean about me.
Funny, never in all...


PET processing, part 31....

Posted by missophelia , 06 December 2014 · 149 views

Paragraph 31 of my letter to Dr K:
Some of the feelings from the rapes are feeling vulnerable, and feeling ashamed. I found that I have been affected emotionally in many more ways that to just feel horrible all consuming fear. The fear can ­be overwhelming, and sometimes easier to deal with than dealing with some of the other stuff. Hid...


PET processing, part 30...

Posted by missophelia , 05 December 2014 · 136 views

Paragraph 30 of my letter to Dr K:
About avoidance, I have learned that the more I avoid dealing with my triggers and the rapes, the more I will keep having the same problems over and over.
I think that if I had to choose, I would say that Dr K's one mantra throughout PET and, actually, since I have known her, her mantra is abo...


PET processing, part 29...

Posted by missophelia , 04 December 2014 · 93 views

Paragraph 29 of my letter to Dr K:
These things don't help when I am triggered: not breathing, dwelling on the trigger and the rapes, freezing and not being able to do anything else, and avoidance.
Just as I have learned what coping skills help me deal with my triggers and reminders, I have also learned what things don't help m...

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This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    12 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 12 guests, 0 anonymous users

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