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PET processing, part 35...

Posted by missophelia , 10 December 2014 · 142 views

Paragraph 35 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
I have learned much in doing prolonged exposure therapy. And I know that I have much more yet to learn. But I feel that prolonged exposure therapy has given me a firm foundation, and a good running start to keep learning on my journey of healing.
 
 
This is a kind of "in conclusion" paragraph. Th...


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PET processing, part 34...

Posted by missophelia , 09 December 2014 · 129 views

Paragraph 34 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
I don't think I will ever fully know why it happened, and I think now that that is not the important thing to focus on. My healing is much more important.
 
 
I know that I covered most of this last night.  And I think what I wrote here is true.
 
"Why" is not the important thing to focu...


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PET processing, part 33....

Posted by missophelia , 08 December 2014 · 90 views

Paragraph 33 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
I don't think I will ever know why he raped me. I don't think it is for me to try and figure him out. I need to focus more on what I tell myself about why it happened. I have learned that what I told myself about why it happened is wrapped up in the things he said to me, which has led to self blame for many...


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PET processing, part 32...

Posted by missophelia , 07 December 2014 · 64 views

Paragraph 32 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
What do I need to learn about that question why. Why it happened. And what are the things I tell my self about why it happened.
 
 
There have been times, over the years, that I have asked myself why. 
 
Why it happened. 
 
What does it mean about me.
 
Funny, never in all...


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PET processing, part 31....

Posted by missophelia , 06 December 2014 · 131 views

Paragraph 31 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
Some of the feelings from the rapes are feeling vulnerable, and feeling ashamed. I found that I have been affected emotionally in many more ways that to just feel horrible all consuming fear. The fear can ­be overwhelming, and sometimes easier to deal with than dealing with some of the other stuff. Hid...


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PET processing, part 30...

Posted by missophelia , 05 December 2014 · 118 views

Paragraph 30 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
About avoidance, I have learned that the more I avoid dealing with my triggers and the rapes, the more I will keep having the same problems over and over.
 
 
I think that if I had to choose, I would say that Dr K's one mantra throughout PET and, actually, since I have known her, her mantra is abo...


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PET processing, part 29...

Posted by missophelia , 04 December 2014 · 79 views

Paragraph 29 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
These things don't help when I am triggered: not breathing, dwelling on the trigger and the rapes, freezing and not being able to do anything else, and avoidance.
 
 
Just as I have learned what coping skills help me deal with my triggers and reminders, I have also learned what things don't help m...


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PET processing, part 28...

Posted by missophelia , 03 December 2014 · 78 views

Paragraph 28 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
These things help when I am triggered: breathing, reminding my self that I'm safe, keeping myself grounded, getting on with focusing on other things, reminding myself that I'm not back there, and staying in today.
 
 
As I said last night, I have learned some valuable things about dealing with tri...


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PET processing, part 27...

Posted by missophelia , 02 December 2014 · 95 views

Paragraph 27 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
There will be things in the world that may trigger me. There may also be times when something reminds me of the rapes.
 
 
I think that I need to always remember this. 
 
Just because I have completed PET, that does not mean that I may never be triggered again.  It also doesn't mean...


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PET processing, part 26...

Posted by missophelia , 01 December 2014 · 154 views

Paragraph 26 of my letter to Dr K:
 
 
He was the dirty and disgusting one, not me. It feels good to say and realize that. The thought behind that makes me angry, realizing that he was the one who was dirty and disgusting, and that he laid that all off on me. I walked around for so long believing what he said about me. When it was really him tha...






Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    0 user(s) viewing

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    Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.