Jump to content

my blog


2014 part 8...

Posted by missophelia , 07 January 2015 · 123 views

Once I got home from the hospital, and found my mala, I realized that I wasn't just searching for my mala. Sure, that was a big part of what I had thought about while I was in the hospital. But it wasn't the mala I was really looking for. I was searching for much more.
I remember one night, shortly after leaving the hospital, that I was on my compu...


2014 part 7...

Posted by missophelia , 06 January 2015 · 224 views

I had studied Buddhism for a short time, a few years ago. At the time that I discovered Buddhism, I was searching for something, spiritually. I didn't know then what Buddhism would mean to me now.
I was raised an Episcopalian. A lot of the traditions I was raised with were more Catholic in action and belief. As with many children, I was taught...


2014 part 6...

Posted by missophelia , 05 January 2015 · 173 views

Shortly after being discharged from the hospital, I discovered Buddhism. Well, actually, I rediscovered it.
In the course of my stay in the hospital, in all of the time I had to think, something came to mind. I remembered the mala I had bought.
A mala is like prayer beads. Some call it a “Buddhist rosary”, but it is not really th...


a brief side trip...my mother...growth...

Posted by missophelia , 04 January 2015 · 177 views

Taking a small side trip, if you will, from my blogging about the important things that happened to me in 2014.   It's been an ok week for me this week.  Yesterday my daughter and I went to the mall.  That was part of her Christmas present from me, because just before Christmas she wasn't sure what she wanted.  I wanted to get her...


2014 part 5...

Posted by missophelia , 02 January 2015 · 193 views

I think I already mentioned, a few posts ago, that I saw these things I went through in 2014 as significant, in a positive way.  I think I also believe that I went through these things for a reason. 
And I think I have learned something from each of these experiences.
So, what did I learn from my stay in the hospital?  I think...


2014 part 4...

Posted by missophelia , 01 January 2015 · 207 views

Prior to being in the hospital, I spent next to no time with myself. For several reasons.
I had this fear of being with myself. I couldn't bear to be with myself. I hated myself.
But while in the hospital, I was faced with myself. There was nowhere else I could go, and there was nothing to keep me from being faced with myself.
No dist...


2014 part 3...

Posted by missophelia , 28 December 2014 · 226 views

Crying, for me, was significant. Prior to that stay in the hospital, I had not cried in years.
When I first started therapy in the fall of 2008, all I did was cry in my therapist's office. That was Dr H. She has since retired.
But I remember that, at one point, after spending weeks, maybe months, doing nothing but crying in her office, I vow...


2014 part 2...

Posted by missophelia , 27 December 2014 · 177 views

On January 7th of 2014, I met Dr K at 8 am in her office. We talked for a little while before I went down the hall and filled out the paperwork I needed to start the process to have myself admitted to the mental health locked ward of the hospital. And I was lucky, because usually whatever psychiatrist is on call does the actual admitting, but my psychiat...


2014 part 1...

Posted by missophelia , 26 December 2014 · 231 views

It is almost the end of the year.  2015 will be here so soon.  In ways, it seems that this year has flown by.
In other ways, it seems that it has been one long year.
And in this long year, much has happened to me. 
I don't think I have had a year like this in a long time.  A year where things have happened that hav...


a different outcome...

Posted by missophelia , 24 December 2014 · 209 views

I have been so busy the past few days, I haven't had the time to sit and write.  Hopefully the next few days will be low key, and I will have more time.
You know, just when everything seems to be going right, the you-know-what hits the fan....
My car was running perfectly, but I got halfway to my appt, and the rear end started making th...

Blog Warning

This is a blog of my thoughts, my feelings, my happiness, my pain, my joy, my sorrow, all raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of your self.

July 2016

2425262728 29 30

Recent Entries

Recent Comments


    18 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 18 guests, 0 anonymous users

    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

    18 user(s) viewing

    0 members, 18 guests, 0 anonymous users

    Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.